This being Friday, and all, the futures were indicating a modest rally today – which should land us very close to my “number” for this week (1960.48 on the S&P).
So to mark the occasion, I’m now working on my next career: As a comedy writer… Since life “is-what-it-is” there’s no shortage of material. And that’s before hitting politics and economics.
I’m guided in this endeavor by one of the finest collections of bad jokes out there; the Federal Register. Allow me to elucidate.
So there I am staring at a project that requires a super good, durable paint job. And it involves aluminum, so the paint must be preceded by either Alodine or Zinc Chromate ( to MIL-DTL-5541) to prevent a future paint flaking issue – a couple of clicks and it’s on the way.
Then I come to paint selection. I know from past experience that white kitchen appliance epoxy enamel is a fine match for the paint I have in mind.
I make the mistake of reading the fine print…
Hold the phone, Jackson. I think we have crossed over into another dimension. A dimension not only of sight, but of bureaucracy. There, at the signpost up ahead: California!!!
I have never been out to Catalina. But in order to perpetrate a potential act of civil disobedience (which would be labeled domestic terrorism for budget and narrative purposes), I am considering importing a can of this illegal spray paint of this epoxy appliance enamel to Catalina.
I can see it now: Getting on the boat at wherever the boats to Catalina come in…facing down a body scanner or having some Gestapo agent frisk me, looking for cans of….spray paint!!!
Is ALL spray paint illegal on Catalina? I frankly don’t know. What I DO know is I’m not the first to notice this.
It seems highly paradoxical that one of the most unwrecked places on the planet has to be one of the most regulated. It’s like there is an unwritten formula of life that says something like “Pollution times regulations must always equal this value.”
Under this formula, highly polluted places in Asia are under-regulated (they sell cigarettes like crazy in Indonesia, says our correspondent down in the Dark Side). But if a place is “pristine” the only way to make the “formula” work is to regulate, regulate, regulate.
How insane is this? You have to keep the past couple of weeks of headlines in mind as you read about these thoughts of defiance. I assume you know that California has a HUGE MOTHER of a natural gas leak going on – big enough to cause all the global warming in the world by the sound of it.
Yet verily, the righteous are protecting Catalina. Oh, freaking, goody. But the “secret formula is intact.”
I am happy for the sea lions, whales, and whatever else the greens are protecting out there.
But here in different state (Texas) of mind, we find outdoorsy preservation projects are sometimes helped by a good coat, or two, of dangerous amine-containing fast curing epoxy enamel. (Baked in the oven for a couple of hours at 180-degrees when Elaine goes shopping when I have time to air the house out afterwards, is better…usually the cardboard I set things on for curing doesn’t catch fire.)
Turn about is fair play. I’m putting the imperialistic greenocrats of California on notice: When I get elected County Commissioner here in District 3, one of my first acts in office will be to promote a 100% ban the sale of Sea Lions and whale meat in Anderson County, Texas.
And to show my sensitivity to environmental issues, I will also press for a ban on whaling in the county, as well. Perhaps an environmental tax on new cars made in Japan as punishment for their past sins against whales could be passed, too.
My First Campaign Contribution Arrives
My buddy Jeff from the local ham radio club has become the first person to step up and contribute to my campaign fund.
My campaign fund now stands are precisely $1 U.S.