Coping: Taxes by the Pound, Dots Connect!

Since my buddy, the Major, is down visiting this week,  I spent a couple of hours Sunday in massive clean-up mode.

We’re both the sort of people who do “big things” when we get together, last time being a 746-foot long off-center-fed antenna.  Unfortunately, when you do lots of big things, the clean-up and organization notions (herein after “little things”) take a back seat to the results.

There, sitting under one of the counters in my office was a an Amazon box which holds all the paper back-up for this year’s tax filing.  I’ve been having an ongoing debate with myself over whether to save the data only and .PDF’s – and then put just that on a CD…but no, I like paper, as much as any auditor.  So I keep paper, but decided that it was time to get off the CD kick and do this year’s backup files on a micro SD chip.

When it was done, I thought of something:  Why not weigh it?

Out to the shop because there, thanks to selling the odd radio I’ve restored on eBay, is a dandy digital scale.  Lo and behold!

10 pounds of taxes

I draw your attention to the blue digital readout.  Definitely not Ansel Adams level photography.  But, just as the typewriter killed penmanship, and keyboards killed typewriters,  no one today has a clue about quality.  But the digital scale reads 10 pounds 6.3 ounces.

While I was standing there, an odd thought intruded into my head and suddenly it was like a room full of lights went on.  Been doing a lot of 660 nm light lately, and the quality of my thinking seems to be improving.

So it got me to wondering “I wonder what Donald Trump’s taxes weigh-in at?”

As I was pondering this, I ran back into my office.  Yes, there it was, the story earlier this month on VOX, “The fight for Trump’s tax returns is just getting started — This is going to be a long one..”

It wasn’t the length I was so much interested in as the weight.  I mean if tax filings are correlated to net worth…wouldn’t that be interesting?  Since Elaine and I (retired and all) barely squeak into six-figures, and our tax documents weight 10+ pounds (and that’s not including the return which I saved only as TurboTax and PDF docs), what would a billionaires taxes weigh in at?

Well, lemme see here:  I could round off to one pound for every $10,000 of income, I suppose.  In which case, a billionaire worth of taxes would weigh…er… 10,000 pounds.

Well, that triggered more thinking.  Since IRS requires people to save however many years of taxes, let’s say 3-years, wouldn’t the cost of storing 300,000 pounds of tax documents be a deduction?  Quickly, I began to work out how big our taxes would have to get before I could justify a storage unit when Elaine and I some day move to the city…  Tax Court doesn’t listen to pip-squeaks, so we’d need a lot more money.

While I was pondering all this…Trump hiding the tax returns for as long as he has, another one of those Strange Ure-like questions (SULQ) popped into my head.

When he leaves office, can Trump – or any other president – pardon themselves?

In other words, let’s go back to the Clinton’s.  Is there some off-the-books deal under which former presidents can “pardon me” and then be off the hook permanently?  It would sure keep the image of American President’s spiffy.

Of course, there’s also the question about whether a president could,  before leaving office, secretly pardon his wife.  No, not Melania…she hasn’t done anything but be graceful and low key.  But, what about Hil and the email?

As I was working away, it struck me that yes, perhaps presidents can pardon themselves. And the wife. Turns out, maybe, but there are limits, according to Wikipedia:

“A president cannot pardon someone for state or local crimes. Experts disagree as to whether a president can pardon himself, but pardons cannot apply to cases of impeachment. The pardon can also be used for a presumptive case, such as when President Gerald Ford pardoned Nixon over any possible crimes regarding the Watergate scandal.”

But, my,  oh my: wouldn’t a pre-pardon explain why the federal investigation into you know who’s emails explain a lot?  And since the states where possible offenses took place are democrat-controlled…well, a lot just began falling into place.

Ultimately, none of it matters. Dems in the House will kill any witch hunts on you know who and the R’s in the senate will keep up the charade until 2020.

But after thinking things through, I bet there will be more avenues ripe for speculation in any release of Trump taxes…even more-so than the Mueller report.

Is there a point?

Sure!  Learn to look at everything in life with different units of measurement.  When someone says “How far is it to work?” imagine all the possible ways to measure it.  That’s how you grow your brain and with it?  An ability to look at all things in new and amazing ways.  So when someone asks?  Try some of these answer….

  • “It’s 6-1/2 ounces of coffee….”
  • “…Three McDonalds’….
  • “…16 green houses….”
  • “…3 bus stops….”
  • “…four school zones…”
  • “…1 Walmart…”
  • “… 3 Shell stations…”
  • “...In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida…
  • “…760-thousand inches…”
  • “…19.3 million millimeters…”
  • “…5-newspaper stands…”
  • “…9 red-light cameras…
  • “…27-Starbucks’….”

And now you know why it’s important to know:  George Ure paid 10 pounds, 6.3 ounces worth of taxes in 2018. He’s hopiong for a 12-pounder in 2019.

Write when you break something…


13 thoughts on “Coping: Taxes by the Pound, Dots Connect!”

  1. Mark: Once again you missed my point & belittled me by saying I had Trump Disease (TD). But you and your Burpley friends don’t care about my point or anyone’s else’s. You don’t believe in free speech or allowing a President to do his job. A President who was elected by the free will of the people. Vengeance is all you & the Burp’s understand, sort of like Putin & his KGB. I do understand that your anti Trump position is good for your business (very Trump like).

    • Oh I don’t think you have the Trump disease but rather the Trump dream disease,which places him at the right hand of the almighty which many created in their own minds that Trump and the neocon right including his inner circle is going to take us to the rapture or the land of utopia,well that is if that terrible Putin and the KGB stays out of the way that is.But then again with out that terrible Putin and the KGB why would our lives even be worth living ,for after all we/they have to have someone to demonize and the MIC comes to mind.!!!

  2. I’m an auditor – a couple years doing SALT audits and now doing government audits. As far as your statement “I like paper, as much as any auditor….” I can’t speak for the IRS, but neither me nor my office peers have a particular preference for paper over digital. All any of us care about is that it’s organized. Digital records that are a train wreck are no more useful than an unorganized box of paper.

  3. NOW I know why do stretching every morning and every night. Stay loose outside the box. Thanks GU

  4. With respect and regards to seattle “dying”. I disagree. i see over 10 active cranes in Seattle. Over 7 in Bellevue. I know lots of people who work at Amazon, Google, Microsoft and Boeing and they are all grinding on OT all the time. My roommate is workinf 6-12’s at Boeing right now with no end in sight.

    I dont care what the media says. Its all political adjenda hype.

    One thing i noticed is, a lot of homeless people dont want to work. I cant count how many people i have seen standing, holding card board signs saying “please help” standing right infront of several stores that say “help wanted”.

    I actually have gotten the finger a few times from homless people down by the “Labor Ready” place that has a sign out front. Now hiring, “Daily work and Daily pay.” Because they are holding signs asking for help and i point to the sign behind them and say, “Hey! Turn around! There is a job that pays ya today! Right there behind ya!!!” They turn and look and then give me the bird. LOL!

    Go figure.

    When i used to work a second job, Driving for Lyft after running Truck and Pup all day. I used to go sit down by Amazon on Fairview and almost always got a ride to the airport. Good $ before the rush. Im sure George II has his places figured out. It takes about a month to get the “pulse” of the city. Some guys who do uber and Lyft just aimlessly drive around trying to catch rides. Which i admit, i did that in the beginning. i used to shut my app off and turn it back on when i got to the sweet spots. like Amazon from 2-5pm Mon-Friday. Capitol hill or Ballard around 6-9 on fiday and saturday nights. I noticed Gay people are the best tippers. I dont know why, but they are. And around midnight till 3am i usually stayed around Ballard, then went and hung out by Neighbors (a gay bar in capitol hill) that closes around 4am. They cut ya off at the bar at 2am but the place is packed and still dancing about 4am and ya always get good fairs out of there on Friday and Saturday night. From noon till 6 around the UW, cause the college kids are heading to work or to the local sports bars, stuff like that. and if a concert was in town, always hung out in the appropriate demograhic.

    On bumber shoot weekend i made $1800 in 2 days hanging out in the UW. Lol

    Plus, by knowing the pulse if the city, you dont use as much gas $$ driving around.

    I only took one ride out of seatac. Because there is usually an hour + wait. Its good in the am. Other than that mostly a waist of time, i could be working a different scene. Ya know?

    Taught me much about the lay out of the city and the pulse of the local economy.

    • Yes, sometimes I feel like any government should have stayed out of people’s privat affairs and proclaim: Make a living, or perish!! Everything seems to be half-assed.
      A.H. once said to his close surroundings; “A people who don’t care don’t deserve to survive.” Perhaps it was a bit harsh, but nature finds ways to eventually adjust, JMHO!

      • “Yes, sometimes I feel like any government should have stayed out of people’s privat affairs and proclaim: Make a living, or perish!! ”

        I totally agree Bruno …

        That way to about companies and communities.
        Social Security would be solvang and big bankers wouldn’t have been getting multi million dollar bonuses off of the people from bailouts.

  5. “It’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood…”, uh oh…??

    The April 23rd release of Canada’s special issue $1 LGBTQ coin is being featured by the national public broadcaster under “kids news”. The report of the coin unveiling interviews a 9 year old child attendee who is being parented by two gay men. The one-faced coin appearance apparently morphs into two faces if you hold it a certain way. It’s been designed by a sexagenarian artist, Joe Average, who is HIV+.

    Today the bank filled my usual order of $1 coin rolls with the new design fresh from the mint. The visible end of the rolls showed Her Majesty’s countenance in polished glory. The LGBTQ design coin side was safely under wrap.

    • Jester…
      I was constantly amazed while working the floors of a medical facility what you learn..

      One gentleman.. the hottest man on the floor working .. all the ladies would throw themselves at that was by far one of the luckiest guys alive that I know..
      Now the ladies were privy to the same Information I was knew he was HIV+ ….
      You would be surprised..
      Now do the pyramid… he’s patient 1….

  6. “How far is it to work?” imagine all the possible ways to measure it.”

    we always played license plate poker.. or license plate game with the kids.. where you try to spot the most plates from different area’s.. if everyone seen one ( you both can’t claim the same tag.. ) then the one with the highest numbers wins.. like two pair and an ace kicker etc..

    My curse is everything I see.. seems to get a number value..Stupid stuff .. like a package of tp on sale for this week as an example.. .23.82 for 24 rolls 6816 sheets.. thats a buy to.. average person uses three feet of tp.. and uses three wads of tp.. just about a dime … if you do your paper work at work then you make an extra penny and a quarter an hour average.. don’t even get me on hand driers or paper towels LOL you actually save more money with the paper towels..( thats debatable..) at the cabinet company.. LOL I got a free lunch with the boss using the leaking soap dispensers.. LOL LOL submitted a suggestion that by fixing the soap dispensers in the plant they could save just shy fifteen grand a year LOL.. the plant manager came by.. and said .. dam.. I can’t believe your getting a lunch for hand soap LOL…
    I get bored easily and having a ton of things running through my mind at the same time.. I would do jokes to see who would pick up on them.. like t-shirts with Homonym’s on them.. or puzzles ..
    they had a really nasty receptionist at the cabinet shop.. really rude and nasty.. LOL so I dreamed up the National USA urine your patriotic duty LOL. LOL what if your in an accident.. and they need a sample quick by submitting a sample they freeze dry it and then in an emergency they re-hydrate it and wala.. instant sample..I had a really nice display made with a convincing explanation and goal sheet made up. went out and bought a bunch of sample bottles with display stand.. and set it out.. the boss even took her a sample.. if I am not mistaken she gave herself one to LOL LOL..I would have paid money to see the reaction when they all realized that there wasn’t any urine bank and no one was going to come pick them up and she had cases of everyone’s urine under her desk…LOL LOL LOL.
    the sign up for your vacation was the best one.. by the time you got done reading it you didn’t have a clue when to sign up for it.. LOL LOL LOL.. the tattoo your employee number on your arm.. that was a hoot to.. boss comes out.. reads it then shakes his head yeah.. LOL LOL LOL one of the other employees almost got me discovered though.. she came read one of the more funny ones.. turned and said.. what are you up to now.. LOL so I quit putting the bulletin board jokes up. I had to wear a dust mask because I was laughing so hard….I don’t do jokes like that anymore I am getting way to old for those shenanigans .Back then I was young and full of fun and needed to keep my mind busy … there was a public official that had a brilliant idea of getting people to raise rabbits for fur in the early eighties..even though I would try to tell him that it was a stupid idea.. he did it anyway and of course it didn’t pan out so. a friend of mine and I did one letter to convince him to become a cat rancher LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL god that was funny.. even put his picture in a photo album LOL for future cat ranchers of america.. god those were the days.. young and full of fun…
    Ever find yourself driving and looking at a building and wondering.. gosh I wonder what they do there…. so you stop in and inquire heck you might like to work there someday.. take a tour.. I am not allowed to do that anymore either.. Had a scary adventure…That I still get curious from time to time.. When the wife see’;s me getting curious she shuts me down…

  7. Bit rot is the enemy of any records system. Rats can eat paper, as can fire, mold, or many other things. Magnetic domains can relax and reform with heat and/or time. Optical discs(CD’s and DVD’s) can and do fail over time, and flash drives – NVRAM’s can and do fail catastrophically. Can anyone here even read a 5.25″ floppy? What’s a fellow to do? Many copies seem to be the only real answer, and then 50 lbs of paper can become 1/4 ton. Perhaps having the same data on multiple forms of media is best, along with conditioned space for storage. Complexity without redundancy is a house of cards.

    Ultimately, entropy always wins.

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