“Time to Cat…” A pleasant late-summer idiom: Cats have the good sense to sleep 12-16 hours a day. Human’s don’t. We seem compelled to get up, eat three (or more) meals, and waste tons of effort on worry. Which explains why, Zeus the Cat (our chief critic, grammarian, and editor) doesn’t trade markets.
Alleging myself superior to him, I noted that futures were down half a percent in today’s early view. Dow down 150-ish?
“ Noise trading, Fatso. China was down 4-10th’s of a percent and exactly offset by Japan which was up 4-10th’s. You are too anxious for profits.”
“Not so, rabid fur ball: Europe is trending down too and that could pick up steam as we roll through the week.”
“ Listen, Tubby, the real deal – and this is my NSS advice because I AM a black cat – is the crisis will come Halloween when Brexit happens and Europe finds it has screwed itself into a corner. This fall’s what you ought to be looking at, none of this transient headline crap. Go have a look and you’ll see what I mean…”
So I did.
“Hey! What about this for a Big Story? “Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t checked on for hours before apparent suicide: report“?”
“Betcha a bottle of catnip extract says he’s in WitSec and spilling the beans on Wild Bill and the rest of the flying perverts of the Deep State. Nice thought, ain’t it? Next?”
“Well, how’s about ” In fighting deep fakes, mice may be great listeners? Sounds more your speed…”
“Fun guy, you mushroom. You’re not looking at it through Cat’s eyes like I do. Let me roll through some headlines on my MeowPad. Here…look at these useless wastes of bandwidth:
- Bride claims she lost 30 pounds before wedding without exercise
- ‘The Nanny’ star Fran Drescher gets candid about cannabis: ‘Now I understand its medicinal attributes’
- ‘Walking Dead’ actor dies after battle with cancer…
You know, if you were as smart as you humans think they are, you’d take a day-long cat nap and call it good….”
“Can’t do that. My whole schtick is being a writer. Besides, what about stories like “Hong Kong International Airport cancels all departing flights as anti-government protesters occupy terminals?” Doesn’t that count as big news?”
“Hell no. You are NOT in Hong Kong and trying to leave, are you? Not flying to HK for lunch, either? So WTF does it matter? China’s been hard of people since the Cultural Revolution and Tiananmen Square…so really, George, save the adrenalin hit for something worthwhile. Maybe a little harder government works, I mean look around you….”
“See? You get sucked-in every time. Are you in Modesto or selling demonstration insurance? No? So STFU and let me nap.”
“OK, but this is a land of Principles, is it not? And they’re always under attack, right? That by-God is what news is about!”
“Land of Principles? Zat so? Tell me, is that why your own government doesn’t put its name on your phony money and instead issues paper in the name of a banker front-group, the Federal “Reserve?” Is that why gold and silver aren’t money and Bitcoin seems to be? Is that why your Supreme Court can’t figure out what natural born means? Or if medical insurance being a legal requirement that’s somehow NOT a tax? No, Ure sadly mistaken, as always… Get out of my face and let me nap. I have big mousing plans for tonight….”
“What am I supposed to write about…I’m just trying to findf something compelling that will make my work “must-read” material…”
“Stupid human! There is NO MUST READ ANYTHING! The world will continues whether you get worked-up or not. Now leave before I take a swipe at you. Be gone! Turn off that damn computer on your way out…”
Damn cat. Finicky editor!
Reluctantly, I tip-toed out to my office, being careful not to disturb Zeus the Editor-in-Chief on the way. He’d made a few points. But I wasn’t done. Sure there’s got to be something compelling from 7.6 billion people all trying to out Twit one-another?
Being an economist of sorts, I vowed to find something that would really fire people up. Start Monday with a bang.
My first stop was on several financial calendar sites. Maybe a big financial story would do the trick, people being greedy and all…
Unfortunately, this afternoon’s Treasury Budget will be like watching paint dry. Red paint, but paint nevertheless.
Consumer prices will be out tomorrow and while they may show an increase of 3-10ths of one percent, at least a third to half of that is just the value of money cratering such that it takes more made-up money to but the groceries. It’s the same reason gold is up. Not like it’s a gold rush. More like it just takes more “watered down paper” to buy the same goods as it used to.
There will be some entertainment value to the CPI report tomorrow since the Fed pretends that “core inflation” matters. That’s overall price change minus food and energy. Which frankly, is as “back to close asswards” as you can get. People don’t care so much about the cost of toilet paper unless they have food and energy first…which is why farcical reserve banking with made up ducats is just a joke only a few people really “get.”
Wednesday import-export data will be skewed to the Max grounding.
Retail sales and Productivity will be worth getting out of bed for Thursday, but near as we can figure, except for the CPI headline and misdirection tomorrow, maybe The Cat is onto something.
Tell you what: You go read the lefty hand-wringing agenda stories like “The desperate pleas of asylum seekers who “Remain in Mexico”” and I’ll go back to bed.
Zeus the Cat is onto something.
If I can’t change the direction of the news flow, why burden my soul with the weight of the world’s problems? Got my own shit to keep squared-way.
And who knows, maybe I can learn to dream about catching mice instead of short-term statistical pricing aberrations in levered index exchange-traded funds.
Huff of catnip?
Write when I wake up,