Does which way the toilet paper comes off the roll define your income?

About 10-years ago, we did an information survey and it seemed that when the paper comes off the front of the roll, rather than the back, that there’s a weak association with higher household income.  Or, at least there was when we asked back in 2,000-something or other.

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The question came up again because one of our astute readers noticed that in my shop, the paper towels come from the back noyt the front.

I mean, I totally get the logic:  If you have to hold the dispenser from letting the towels spin, that hand will contaminate the otherwise clean next towel.

Same theory (after a fashion) holds with toilet paper.

The flip-side is that when I was raised, it was an article of housekeeping that either a) the toilet paper can down behind (ahem…) thus hiding the visual clutter of what might be a ragged edge.

Or, b) if you do the “paper over front” then at each use, you put a couple of folds in so the paper has a more strack, fnished, designer-look to it.

Going further (as my decorating skills improved) things like an occasional bow around the spare roll happened.  Butt then, that didn’t give a sufficient ROI, so that idea was eventually flushed.

There are a ton of questions about toilet paper – and I suspect the number of economists probing this data is limited.  After all, anyone with a good stats background can get a climate grant and anyone who can make money is off trading.  Which leaves only a handful of people like me to flush out the important stuff.

So here’s the survey:  Copy and past into a comment form below and sent it along.  Ready?

  1. Does your toilet paper roll off the front  or back of the roll?
  2. What is your more or less honest household income (in 000’s so 40 would be $40,00-0)  $_______
  3. When you get toilet paper ready to use, are you a folder or a clumper?

Regular TP (single ply, cheap) or butt-friendly 2-ply, quilted, woven, scented, upscale butt-treats?

This  may seem incredibly stupid, but(t) here’s the thing:

In business, every since Frederick Winslow Taylor did the original time-motion studies in the late 1800’s, people in management science have been into measuring everything looking mainly for hidden variables.

People who go to the bathroom more than x,xxx times per day may not be serious workers, for example.  Or, sales people with coke habits may be exceptional at sales until they get busted.

As a professional manager you learn to collect all kinds of data, no matter how rude or politically-incorrect.  We don’t get a (well, you know)…we’re only interested in getting to the bottom of things in any case.  We’ll roll-up the data as its flushed out.

Thank you for participating.

Don’t forget to wash Ure hands..

Spring Blows

This being the first day of Spring, it’s also when the Tornado season lights up here in the flat-spot of fly-over country.

With our usual advisory to hit a few tornado safety sites, if you weren’t raised on the plains, we went looking for some trends on Tornado frequency.  And sure enough…not only do they have running total data but ALSO an inflation-adjustment!

It took me about 7-hours Monday to understand their idea of inflation is the over-reporting of a single tornado.  (Just kidding, I’m not that stupid.  It was only 4-1/2 hours…)

Notwithstanding the comments of Al Blowhard on Climate, there is some concern about how the alarmists will fare through the upcoming solar minimum.

I mean it’s going to be a terrible time – solar minimum, actual data coming in colder and colder requiring bigger and bigger fudging…why, I almost feel sorry for them!

OK, I’m over it.

Reality on climate:  Humans still spew significantly less than volcanoes…so let’s find a way to turn down the frequency, fury, amplitude, magma-tude *(a word of our own invention, it’s available for rent, write for details) as well as Sulphur dioxide emissions from volcanoes.  Oh, plus all than damned ash…

Here at Olde Man Labs our crack-science study group has come up with a low-cost way to ease both global climate change AND reduce the natural level of emissions.  They call it?

Human Sacrifice to Pele.

I know, you’re thinking “Butt, that was back in the time of savages and uncivilized people…it would never fly in today’s world.

Yah think?

Look at social media, politics, and finance.  You call us better?

Beside, human sacrifice to volcanoes required no permits or impact statements…it gets grandfathered in.

Democrats and anarchists to the front of the line!…Pele’s awaits  your personal contribution to climate change reduction!  Schumer to the high board!

Write when you get rich (or your coating of basalt cools).  (Hmmm…where’d I put my meds?)