imageWe begin with the daily reading of Gospel here at the East Texas Synod of the Church of the Almighty Basis Point, which my buddy Howard founded.  Please open our Hymnals to Page 317 and read from the book of Fortune.   

“And thus, there came a Miracle on the street.

Lo, the market dropped 300 points.  And verily, the quote of the flaming Dollar fell with it.  And by the arrival of the Faithful’s tears, it had fallen from 91.50 to 90.03 Europe.  The archangel Angela was blessed.

So the Son of Profit spoke to the assembled Multitude:

“Yee see?  The dollar dropped 1.6%!

And this means, from it’s low in the Session of the Almighty, that the daughters of Profit Dow and Profit NAZ should rise according to their effort.

And it was So!

The Daughter Dow, who had Fallen to her (15,960) knees was immediately healed by the 1.6% currency swing and rejoiced to the close up 183.

And the People were Amazed and fell silent. 

“How can this be?” they beseeched. “Is this Fall of purchasing power also connected?” they wondered…

And the Son of Profit spoke again:

“Yea verily, it is so.  More paper is needed when the underlying value fails in the judgment of Global Eyes.”

He then continued:

“Yea, though we walk in the Valley of Rate Hikes, certain asymmetries will arise that will call Your Faith into question.  Remain faithful to the Basis Point.

Fear not.  For the Archangel Janet shall pump you and please you, and make false profits arise unto you and give you some peace.

Amen.”

Somewhat sated, the crowd wandered off.  Still Dazed and confused, for they knew not in their Hearts why a Fed rate can go up and  the 10-year Treasury rate fall in massive disproportion.

So as they left, the Son of Profit called after them:

“You ain’t getting this shit, are you? Come back here!”

And so, with another turn of the Orb is upon us, we stand well-satisfied with the currency exchange-rate bump which goosed the Dow that propelled the Gold that expanded the Silver that lived in the House that Jack built. 

And all traceable to the Burning Bush, which we all know is powered by gas seeps and sitting on a Queen or Jack-sized formation in the land of Profit.

We now return you to the un-sane world to continue the dispensation.  Gimme an Amen and drop something in the collection plate.  Thanks, Bubba.

Related?  This Is How the National Prayer Breakfast Got Its Start or Ben Carson: Evangelicals should think twice about Ted Cruz.

Or These Are The Most (& Least) “Sinful” Cities In The U.S.

Dollar is down a good bit today, ergo gold is up…

With futures down 79 are we the only place on the net that understands it takes more paper to buy value and stocks should rise later today?  After the opening – which we call the amateur hour…

Note from the Alternative Reality:

This is some discussion about how artificial intelligence may really be working the markets.  But I prefer the first version this morning.

That’s because in the AI version of markets, only the big dollar AI crowd can do the pump and dumps leaving the rest of us (not running a Yale endowment) to be the dumpees.

Sons of Job:  Cuts up 218%

imageKeeping with our light-hearted (or light-headed) view of things this morning, here comes the Challenger, Gray and Christmas (so as not to be confused with Challenge, Gray and Chanukah) Job Whack Report.

Oh, wait, the press release seems to read more politely:

“Last month represents the highest monthly tally since July 2015, when cuts reached 105,696. It was the largest January total since 241,749 job cuts were announced during the first month of 2009.

Despite relatively strong holiday sales to close out 2015, retailers led all other industries in January job cuts, announcing plans to cut 22,246 jobs from their payrolls. That was the highest retail total since January 2009, when retailers announced 53,968 planned layoffs.

Retail cuts were dominated by Walmart, which announced plans to close 269 stores worldwide, which is expected to impact 16,000 workers. Macys is also planning to close stores in 2016, a move that will affect 4,820 employees.

In addition to increased retail job cuts, January also saw the return of heavy job cuts in the energy sector. Overall, these firms announced plans to reduce headcounts by 20,246, up from 1,682 in December.

All of which leaves the market to weigh the following:

  • Jobs on ADP were OK
  • Challenger numbers sucked
  • China and Japan?  Japan down 8-1oth’s of a percent but Shanghai was up 1.5%
  • Europe is Mixed
  • Not too much else matters; the democratic “town hall” was missable and all.

Which leaves us counting bodies in the Middle East and wondering if the headlines in the US proxy war against Syria (Syrian army sees Aleppo encircled soon; rebels hope for more weapons) will give the “rebels” the tools to shoot down a Russian airplane and put this whole shebang on the path to Nuclear Winter.

SecState Kerry demands Russia halt Syria bombing after talks suspended.

We aren’t terribly worried (flash goggles are in the shop) but with the futures down 62, today’s meeting of the Mickey Mouse Club should be Anything Can Happen Day.

Labor Department says Productivity falls 3.0% in 4th quarter 2015 (annual rate); unit labor costs rise 4.5%.  Bummer.

Invasion of Europe/Eurabia on Track

Meantime, we notice how the Turkish PM Says 10000 Syrians Wait at Border

First you give an inch, then you give a continent.  But no point explaining that to Hil, Bernie, or O, or Nancy, or…oh, you know the list of suspects.

Politics as Stimulus

Did you see what may be coming up on the radar as an alternative to importing people from far off places who hate us as an economic stimulus?

New Hampshire is flooded by $100 million in political ads is the report.

Yep….all we need is an annual presidential contest and we have our financial worries licked!

An Old Hillarygate

National Archives are at the center of a debate on whether the government should be compelled to release drafts of potential indictments of Hillary for her role in the Whitewater case.

Zika-pathic

Yet another mosquito wars story here…if you’re not sick of them yet.  (Sick of it, lol…get it?)

Another Bad Idea

I’m sure you have seen how over 1-million could lose their food benefits from welfare if they don’t meet new work requirements.

But the thing we keep wondering about is this:  If the poor get all the jobs, in order to eat, who is going to hire all the college grads who are trying to get the student loan monster off their backs?

You ever get the sense no one understands what’s going on in the world of hypercomplexity?

Assange to Skate?

This is of interest:  Julian Assange Being Arbitrarily Held: United Nations.  Wonder how many tax dollars have ended up on this effort at the UN?  I mean, if any, lol.