Coping: Here’s What Will Save America

As we were sitting here, splitting a bag of O’berto Teriyaki Beef Jerky for breakfast, Zeus the Cat was remarking on how what has saved America’s bacon in the past has been our sense of inventiveness.

Ure kind of a sourpuss and too cynical, most times,” he told me.  “You didn’t mention the article on HackaDay about the Midwest Maker Faire up in Kansas City.  If you want to see where the future is going, and be able to invest in “the right stuff” you need to get out to precisely this kind of event.  More jerky?”

I didn’t find too many right off the bat, but a list of some of the major international technology fairs over here looked interesting, particularly the Smart Materials and Surfaces conference in Thailand.

“Wrong search terms, Fatso.  Try “inventor conventions” to improve your search results.”

And insulting cat who hogs the beef jerky….what could be worse?  I mean other than him being right all the time…

“Say, the Cat, there’s only one good one left on this list (close enough we could make it) – and it’s up in Chicago in November.”

“Try this one.”

“I don’t see anything good there….”

I’d be a lot more up to speed if you’d give me back the big-screen you took away claiming I was watching kitty porn on it…”

“It wasn’t just the kitty porn, if the 976 numbers and not sharing your catnip,” I reminded him.

Trivialities, biped.  You and I have both missed Everyday Edisons and a whole lot more.”


Truth of the matter is that the Cat may be onto something.  Inventing is one of the coolest pursuits out there…and just having my name on three or four patents is a high-mark in life.

I didn’t pursue the conversation.  Original thinking is our stock-in-trade around here.  Besides, I already have an IP attorney, and I don’t want Zeus the Cat’s animal rights attorney crossing him.

But I thought I’d mention it: Who will be the next Ron Popeil  (perhaps the second best American inventor/marketer after Edison) and where do I buy shares in it?   Ever read the list of his (or should we count them as Ronco) products?

  • Chop-O-Matic: a hand food processor. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to show you the greatest kitchen appliance ever made … All your onions chopped to perfection without shedding a single tear.”
  • Dial-O-Matic: successor to the Veg-O-Matic (and very similar to a mandolin slicer). “Slice a tomato so thin it only has one side.” “When chopping onions with this machine, the only tears you will shed will be tears of joy.”
  • Popeil Pocket Fisherman: a small fishing pole. “The biggest fishing invention since the hook … and still only $19.95!” (According to the program Biography, the original product was the invention of Popeil’s father and only marketed by Ronco, but as of 2006, Popeil had introduced a redesigned version of the product.)[6]
  • Mr. Microphone: a short-range hand-held radio transmitter that would broadcast over an FM radio. The nearby radio(s) would therefore amplify the sound coming from the Mr. Microphone. In the ad, a convertible rolls past with the FM radio turned up; a young man in the car transmits using a Mr. Microphone, “Hey, goodlookin’, we’ll be back to pick ya up later!” Mr. Microphone is also referenced in Police Academy 2.
  • Inside-The-Shell Egg Scrambler: (self-explanatory) “Gets rid of those slimy egg whites in your scrambled eggs.” Popeil has said the inspiration for this product was his lifelong revulsion toward incompletely blended scrambled eggs.[6]
  • Six Star 20-Piece Cutlery Set: (self-explanatory)
  • Showtime Rotisserie: a small rotisserie oven designed for cooking smaller sized portions of meat such as whole chicken and lamb. “Set it, and forget it!”
  • Solid Flavor Injector: used to inject solid ingredients into meat or other foods. A similar product, called the Liquid Flavor Injector, allowed for the injecting of liquid ingredients into meat, e.g., lime juice into chicken. This product accompanied the Showtime Rotisserie.
  • GLH-9: hair in a can (Great Looking Hair Formula #9)
  • Drain Buster:[citation needed]
  • Smokeless Ashtray: a device which used an integrated fan to draw smoke away from the materials in the ashtray.
  • Electric Food Dehydrator: (self-explanatory) “Instead of giving kids candy, give them apple snacks or banana chips. And it’s great if you’re a hunter, fisherman, backpacker, or camper. Makes beef jerky for around $3 a pound, and you know what went in it, because you made it yourself!”
  • Ronco Popeil Automatic Pasta Maker: (self-explanatory)
  • Ronco Rhinestone Stud Setter: “It changes everyday clothing into exciting fashions and you don’t have to spend a fortune.”
  • The Cap Snaffler: bottle opener. “Snaffles caps off any size jug, bottle, or jar … and it really, really works.”[7]

I’ve  told you this before:  Where there’s a Will, there’s a lawyer.  But where there’s a Problem, there’s usually both an attorney and an inventor.

Care to guess which one you want to do business with?

Yes, Fidel is ALIVE

I’m not the only one to notice the rip in space-time that put some of us deviants, who were on the “Castro died of cancer a couple of years ago, and even remember the cover of Time about his passing” category, back on the UT (unified timeline):  check this from reader John B….

I had a cold chill run down my body when you said Fidel was alive. I had to check Wikipedia. I swear Fidel IS DEAD. I’ve had a few small moments in my live that didn’t add up but never such a complete change. It’s a little frightening. I keep wondering if it’s not some kind of media trick. The PTB testing the rewriting of history.

There’s a part in my (soon-to-be-finished) novel (DreamOver) where the hero/lead character is meeting with a shrink and describes how the unified timeline works.  The dialog goes something like this:

“I think doc, the way it works is that maybe back at the time of the Big Bang, not only were light and matter all born, but there was an explosion of a huge consciousness.  That consciousness  “lands” – for lack of a better term – in receptors.

It’s kinda like chickens roosting:  There’s a part of the “Me” – the soul self – that’s all part of that – and it has “roosted” in this physical body.  But the roosting process is flexible.

Sure, there are loose ties to the roosting-spot, but these can be overcome:  People do it all the time with drugs, religious epiphanies, and even astral projections.  But most don’t step back and see it for what it is….and I think that’s how I “drop in” to other people’s lives:  I sort of “go sit on the roost” next to them and in doing so, I’m able in my dreams to almost live as if I were IN their lives…”

Speaking of Woo-Woo

Reader Mike R has been going through the Woo, too:

“MY most recent woo.

Two weeks ago I watched an almost two hour video by a Brit about the current crazy world stuff, weather, space, niburu, aliens…it was very well done. I sent the link to the video to two friends, then sent it to my wife to forward to her brother.

I then sent a song list to our keyboard player for an upcoming gig, and then sent a copy to my wife.

The next day I called my buddy to see if he had gotten around to watching it. Never got the link. My other friend also did not get it.

I called the keyboard player to see if he got the song list. Nope. My wife did not receive either the video link or the song list.

I had verified the sent command after sending all these emails the night before and they were all there. The next day, nothing was in my sent folder for anyone on that day. Even stranger was that the YouTube history showed no videos viewed that day. Previously viewed videos were listed. It was as if I was the only one having that experience. It was seriously the most disturbing, “I’ve lost it” episode in a life full of crazy shite.

Now, I am also a screenwriter, and my last urban comedy featured a storyline involving Castro. I wrote this script in 2004 and distinctly remember being crushed that Fidel had passed away around 06-07 because it would seriously affect the marketability of my project.

I expect any day to wake up next to Suzanne Pleshette and figure out its all just a dream.

Uh…you might wanna rethink that, brother Mike: Ms Pleshette died in 2008…but my best estimate is that your experience was part of the unified timeline changes that brought Castro back and substituted Pleshette…which seems like a shitty deal to me, but Universe may be a Commie sympathizer…you just never know on these things.

(Jeez…maybe I should get some meds…)

Shaking Yogi

And I suppose Boo-Boo, too, up in Yellowstone, now and then.  But reader Walt says it’s too early to get worked up, leastwise just yet…


I dunno if you’ve been to Yogi Bear’s place or not, but you don’t have to go too far around the park to find places where walkways and road ways used to be but have had to be moved due to the slow, but ever changing landscape of an active area. So for those who don’t know, the headlines seem pretty close to bad natural portents, but there’d have to be more signs, in more places, to get much rise out of the old timers in the area.


(5th generation Wyoming-ite, still living abroad in Utah…)

On our upcoming trip, we’ll make it about as far north in Wyoming as Laramie, Rawlings, Rock Springs.  But we will share pictures of anything notable.

Around the Ranch: Tesla Time

Should be an interesting report on Peoplenomics Saturday, particularly if you’re a ham or have an interest in Tesla:  I’m doing some research than may unlock one of the “Tesla keys.”  But more on that Saturday.  We’ll have a discussion of lightning too…and we’ll discuss how all this relates to subscriber Bill’s problem:

Hmmmm….. The town won’t let me drill an “irrigation” well to water my


because I live too close to the wells the numerous golf courses suck their water from.

Bazillions of gallons — but little me, would doubtless suck ’em dry in a week, and the economic loss from having to shut down the prestigious golf resorts


—well, you get the idea.

The town is on other, scattered, numerous wells for the sanitary water — and drilling anywhere near them makes the planners (aka “commissars”) swoon.

This promises to be a fine mix of economics, science, and just downright FUN.

Meantime, more on music tomorrow and oh, yes:

Write when you break-even