Adventures in Retail Sales

imageWe begin this morning, like all good middle manager corporate suck-ups (and Jerry McGuire) by asking government to “Show us the Money!

So, presto, faster than you can say “I’d like the sausage and eggs, over easy, hash browns extra crispy, a side of ham, bagel with cream cheese instead of the toast, decaf coffee, side of ham, apple juice,  and a piece of pie for desert…make it ala mode with French Vanilla..I also have a peanut allergy and you did get that’s DECAF, right” here is what matters:


If your order takes a while, the detail level goes like this:

The U.S. Census Bureau announced today that advance estimates of U.S. retail and food services sales for January, adjusted for seasonal variation and holiday and trading-day differences, but not for price changes, were $439.8 billion, a decrease of 0.8 percent (±0.5%) from the previous month, but up 3.3 percent (±0.9%) above January 2014.

Total sales for the November 2014 through January 2015 period were up 3.8 percent (±0.7%) from the same period a year ago. The November to December 2014 percent change was unrevised from -0.9 percent (±0.3%).
Retail trade sales were down 1.0 percent (±0.5%) from December 2014, but up 2.4 percent (±0.7%) above last year. Food services and drinking places
were up 11.3 percent (±3.5%) from January 2014 and auto and other motor vehicle dealers were up 10.7 percent (±3.0%) from last year. Gasoline
stations were down 23.5 percent (±1.6%) from the previous year.

And yes, we now have two quarters of back to back declines in retail and a third would be what?  A recession.  Oh, wait, that would be quarters of GDP and we can lie our way around that by making up stuff, but sales don’t lie….which is why we need a large population of economists.

And what is keeping America alive?  Presently nothing.  But last year?  Auto sales.  Behold:


Save the Economy!  Buy something (even if it’s some useless shit you don’t need)!

Meantime, if your extensive breakfast order STILL hasn’t arrived, we could mention the market futures are up, so that means no crash until at least two months out.

With the Baltic Dry Index out there circling the 2009 lows, down another 13 this morning to the 540 level, so lower than 2009 – we know that a combination of longshore talks and delayed shipments may mean more than anything else  that the Fed is seeking any reason it can find to argue that we’re not stuck in deflation.  LOL, hep me, hep me, brother.

Still, gold and silver are chilling.  Say, did you catch this one?

Peace is Bad for the Economy

While retail can’t be blamed for everything that happens, any leftovers can be shoveled onto the rap sheet of Vlad Putin.

The problem, which USA Today doesn’t put in such direct terms in their story here today, is that there is Big Money…come on winners… is War.  And Vlad just agreed to a ceasefire, so that’s off for Q1.  Means another QE in EU is ITB (in the bag).

Of course, we still have ISIS but when Putin in talking ceasefire and the president of Syria was unflappable in his BBC interview earlier this week, how is  Boston Dynamics (a subsidiary of Google) ever going to sell a million robot dog army to the Marines without a hot war to ramp up for?

That, I suspect is why the Spot video has gone viral since we pointed this all out to subscribers in our Wednesday Peoplenomics report:  Peace is bad.  See Spot run.

When running, Spot wants RPGs and silenced human-killers to be made battle ready.  As luck would have it, we will either find a war, or make one, so stand by for a robo-battle yet to come.

Who’d have thought:  Google’s going to become a kick-ass (or dog) defense stock! 

So with self driving cars, internet search, social, dogs of war (pardon the pun) it’s going to be the one ETF of the future.  How come no one is saying this but me?  And where are the anti-monopolists?

We broke up a perfectly good phone monopoly years back, so why not break up a group that has such a strong hold on the future?  Where’s judge Harold Green who presided over the AT&T breakup case when we need him?  (Trivia answer: dead.  Great guy.  We used to grow people like that in this country.)

Where at the pols who should be keeping the future random?  Answer:  Getting campaign contribs hand over fist from where?  (those who own future…)

US Department of Resume Tweaks

Say, looks like NBC seriously considered firing Brian Williams for inflating his Iraq experience, according to reports like this one.

And now, the Washington Post is looking into the educational background of Scott Walker, governor of Wisconsin and serious GOP 2016 hopeful.  I don’t recall the Post looking into the legal conduct of the Clintons prior to their running for offices or Beghazi, but my memory ain’t so good.  I’m getting old and cranky.

At any rate, where this all leads is to the Federal Election Commission trying to slime-ball through Internet controls (on the assumption people can’t figure out which side various media are on, so lets license are mandate reporting…) and after that?

Here’s the way if works:  Citizens United can buy elections.  Internet sites aren’t going to be allowed to, looks like.  Why?  The money goes to site operators, not the political mafia chieftains and their collections teams.  Morality ain’t in trouble – died long ago.  Obstacles to keep little guys with honest opinions and a hundred bucks to start a website is what this is about.

Well, I can see Fearless Leader taking up the cause and demanding a US Department of Resumes.  Oh, except that might lead to a closer look at people like Al Sharpton.  Damn upstart sites like Smoking gun, huh?

Sure, we can’t close the borders, but hey, we can expand the compunist agenda in other ways, can’t we? Faux participation – that’s the democracy for US.

Give me enough money and I can buy any policy you want. Two or three years for really controversial stuff.

Global Health Surveillance

Say, here’s another goody to consider…this from our Winnipeg news analyst:

Dear Mr. Ure,

One is reassured knowing that the WHO utilized a “dedicated internet search engine” for assistance with the ebola outbreak. (…..) Soldiers are returning from service in ebola-stricken areas to “controlled monitoring sites”. (Fort Bragg ready to house service members who deployed to fight Ebola) While your fighters are locked up so to speak, a drone apparently stood in as an expensive bullet last Monday to relieve a former Gitmo prisoner of further earthly duties. (Guantanamo prison closure hampered by freed detainee’s turn to Islamic State) Hopefully the ISIS beach head in Afghanistan was permanently decapitated and its fecundity neutered.

Regards,  The Analyst

Say what you will about Canada, there is still some clear-headed thinking to be found up there.

As well as our project, as well…just in the warmer climes of semi-tropical Alberta.

At Least We Missed the PowerBall Ticket

Elaine was running behind on her schedule Tuesday…as a result I guarantee you that we were not holding the Texas winning ticket (one of three) for the $500-mil PowerBall last night.

This is the Universe punishing you – continuing to subject you to my morning columns.

Now, just so’s we’re clear:  We win $10-million or more, and I will raffle off UrbanSurvival.  And whoever the unlucky loser is will be saddled with getting up at 4 AM for the rest of their lives…

2 thoughts on “Adventures in Retail Sales”

  1. “Well, I can see Fearless Leader taking up the cause and demanding a US Department of Resumes. Oh, except that might lead to a closer look at people like Barack Hussein Obama. Damn !!

  2. For the “non-material entities” and headache related problems mentioned in the Woo-Woo section today, I highly recommend the book “Spirit Releasement Therapy” by William J. Baldwin (a dentist!). It is quite good, and is directly related to getting rid of those types of parasites. Amazon has the book in stock today, but at times it can be 6 months or more where the book is unavailable.

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