FoodTalk Sunday: $249 Chocolate Chip Cookie

The ShopTalk Sunday column is about making things to eat.  But not just any things.  There’s the whole aspect of doing of things to perfection woven into the mix, too.

Which leads directly to Tuesday’s disaster which rippled to within inches of becoming a $249 Chocolate Chip Cookie.

However, many “Foodie” things are “cooking” here.

1- We will be doing another “foodie” oriented ShopTalk in a couple of weeks because we’ve decided, once and for all, to figure out which is better:  Barbeque grilled steaks and meats OR broiled meats.

There is a simple difference between the two techniques – so let’s get precise.  BBQ grilled means the heat is applied from the underside of the meat.  In broiling the heat is from on top.

Cooking is a “man-manly-man” deal when fire is involved.

The Grilled fans have a good sales pitch:  juices and fats from the meat drop down onto the hot grill (and fire-source) and smoke.  Which is why for pure smokiness, nothing beats grilling or the more correct lower side heat mastered by Southern BBQ experts who use a hickory fire on one side of their racks of ribs.  Turned every so often, the smoke is there along with some hickory heat.  Or, you can just by a “smoke box” for the grill, moisten up some hickory, apple, pecan (or whatever smoke you like) and let it smolder while the steak grills.  Damn fine, good, etc.

The THEORY of the Broiler is that the heat is on top.  Usually less than an inch from a screaming hot, down-radiating heat source.  We love grilled steaks occasionally, because they have a meatier flavor, and probably less smoke (marginally healthier?) and taste moister and juicier.

Broiling has a bad rap.  Well-deserved, though.  It’s because the heat source is extremely limited in most kitchens to 550F which is the maximum allowed in most electric stoves.

Not only is the heat limited, but worse, even with our dual fan range hood feeding an 8-inch exhaust duct, the house fills with smoke and the fire alarm goes off.

Frankly, we’d never considered buying a propane broiler for the “Cooking Deck” of the house.  The only heat source, a Charbroil Tru-infrared with side burner has worked OK.  And since we put the external higher-pressure propane regulator on it, even the cold-weather performance is acceptable.  (Do this at your own risk.  I come from a family of firefighters and my son’s got the “magic seven” in that branch of industrial athletics.)

We were resigned to leaving the earthly plane with the grilled or broiled is best question really unsettled.  Until I spotted one of these on  Amazon.  “BIG HORN OUTDOORS Portable Infrared Broiler Propane Gas Grill, 1500 Degree Stainless Steel Tabletop Broiler.

At $209 and one-day delivery, I figured WTF.  Except, as happens in the kitchen (just like in the shop) there’s always that “one more thing.”

On the cooking deck, the plan is (for “special meals”) to use the grill for things like veggies (best potato skins on earth) and maybe some grilled “colossal” shrimp (an oxymoron, for sure). Basted with garlic butter & garlic with a glass of the ever-present Paisano.

This won’t give us a place for broiler work, so I tossed in a VIVOHOME 24 x 30 Inch Stainless Steel Work Table with Backsplash, Food Prep Commercial Table with Wheels for $128, call it.

Combined, it comes to $337 before sales tax.  But now, you’re talking some serious eatifying.  So that’s ONE science-based project.  We’ll be equally preparing steaks and cutting them in half, doing one on the grill and the other under the broiler, resting them the same 6-minutes after and report back.

The SECOND experiment has to do with Pizza

As you know, we took our pizza game from mediocre to “Hey, pretty good!” back in 2017 when we put a Honey-Can-Do Oven Round Pizza Stone 16-inch pizza stone in the electric oven.  Works great and I have the “additional belt hole badge” to prove it.

But again, there is another way of baking and it’s called a baking steel.  Where we are about to try a VEVOR Pizza Steel Baking Stone,Square Steel Pizza Pan,14″ x 14″ x 0.4″ Steel Pizza Plate.

Again, there’s some “food science” involved.  To me, pizza tastes best if it has a crispy bottom.  The pizza stone (home oven) only really works if you preheat it for a half-hour, or longer, at cooking temperatures.  It’s not as dense as steel, and as a result the heat transfer is slower.  On the other hand, steel is said to give faster heat transfers, so another A/B test is being considered.

You know, identical pizzas, but we’d do them on different nights – there’s usually only two of us.  But a thin crust standard pizza would be interesting.  If the steel doesn’t offer any benefit, it comes with a couple of holes in it at the corners, so we can use it as a target out on the pistol range.  It’s almost 1/2-inch thick and ought to stop everything up to an a/p .44-magnum, just guessing.  Since we shoot mostly 9-mm pistol….uh, wait, getting off track here.

Let’s get to the day’s main adventure:

A Nearly $249 Cookie Story

We had a house guest last weekend – Elaine’s son from Tacoma.  Dandy visit.  What with the birthday weekend and all, I was busy playing in the kitchen.  Roast prime rib, a 12-pound turkey, and assorted other culinary goodness.

When the house guest flew out, and the holiday ended, I was just resting up in front of YouTube watching home handy-bastard fare when the urge for a chocolate chip cookie hit.  It hit hard.

I’ve been searching new ways to do things on YT, so why not get out some factory poison dough mix and toss it in the microwave?”

My thinking at the time seemed reasonable enough: there was dough, Correlle dinner plates, and a microwave.

It didn’t occur to me that there was no instruction for cooking the dough in a microwave.  “Probably just an oversight – I mean there are so many power levels and yeah, that would be a tough one to get right…”

The Monumental Mind of Ure (MMU) sprang into action.

When we microwave bacon, 6 strips on the bacon cooker takes 3:43″ I reasoned.

Hefting the dough, I judged the weight of a couple of (fat man sized) cookies to be a shade heavier.  So 4:30 was a guess at the time.  “You can always add time later, so don’t get too carried away,” whispered a detached voice from somewhere in the Aether between the ears.

Pressed out a bit, onto a salad plate and “Start!”  I returned to my recliner in front of the big screen.

I was tired, like I said.  So, at first, the smell of smoke wasn’t too bad.  Smelled like a cookie; you know, cookie smell.

A minute or two later, the smell changed.  It became “You’re from a family of firefighters and that’s not “cookie smell.”

Indeed, it wasn’t.

By the time I woke up, and the adrenaline hit as I roared into the kitchen not knowing what to expect.

Smoke was roiling out of the microwave.  Instinctively, I hit STOP!  Yet still, the smoke rolled out.  In a few seconds, the smoke detector began beeping and the house was nearly filled with not very tasty sugary burned smoke smell.

Plain Awful.

The cookie?  (Hell of a time to ask, bud!)  Well, the two dough balls were now one and they/it were now welded together with stylish black carbon fiber-looking crumbs that were indistinguishable from black.

About here Elaine (who’d been doing something in the bathroom – ain’t gentlemanly to speculate) strolled in. “Cooking experiment?”  She has a good-natured way of saying “You own this shit so you make it right” without ever having to say a word.

I’ll be to bed as soon as the house is aired out,” because by now all windows and doors, plus the central air and range hood were all doing their best to save us from chemical poisoning.

There Was Good News

I now know with some certainty why there are no microwave instructions on many of those baking products in the Chemical Factory Goods to sample rarely aisle at the grocery poisoners.

Microwaving cookies doesn’t work very well.  Not at all.

After the Peoplenomics column Wednesday, I shifted the brain out of “money grubbing mode” into “damage control.”

The inside of the microwave, previously that “off white” appliance lining now looked like the test enamel from a 3-packs a day smoker and coffee drinker who test-bedded Topol toothpaste, having lost his dentist’s address. Yellow so thick it was brown, although when scrubbed off, the first layer was more like “too many B-vitamins yellow pee” looking on the paper towels.

That’s when things got dicey.

“Think we need to replace it?”  Elaine was still in a good mood considering all things.  But why not?  She knows the “You own it” rule.  “Still looks yellowy-brown and that can’t be good for our food to be around.”  Stinks, too.

After pointing out that we cook in microwave safe cookware, I got round to testing the various cleaners to see what would work.

  • Water:  After the superficial surface crap, nothing more came off.  Remember how coffee stains and cigarettes work?
  • Steam? No change.
  • Alcohol:  Isopropyl didn’t work.  I wasn’t going to gamble any of my EverClear stash with no promising results.
  • Bleach:  Not only didn’t work, but smelled like hell.
  • Dawn dishwashing soap: Didn’t do any better but it smelled a damn-sight better than the bleach.
  • Dishwasher detergent: No joy here, either, though Cascade doesn’t smell as good as Dawn if you’ve developed a nose for microwave experiment cleanup options.

Then Came the $249

I was frustrated.  I even went so far as to go new microwave shopping on Amazon.  Where I learned, among other things:

  • A 1.6 cubic foot would likely work as well as our incapacitated 2.2 cubic foot.
  • Because the direct replacement was $249.
  • But look!  New inverter technology looks interesting.
  • And OMG!  There’s an Alexa enabled microwave, now, too!  How neat is that?

I was thinking about the neatness of “Alexa soften one cube of butter” when it dawned on me that the entire Internet of Things (IoT) is gone with the first EMP shot.  Why are we doing it?

Holding back from clicking to finalize the new microwave purchase, there were still a couple of solvents left in the shop. Had to try ’em.

“Is another five-minutes to save $249 bucks not worth it, or what?” that Aether voice was asking.  He was right, though.

One that didn’t work?  Mineral Oil.  Dandy on some plastics and around fiberglass work, doesn’t do anything for baked-on burned to smithereens cookie smoke baked into enamel.

But with good fortune, I found a bottle of old Goof Off which has been on the shelf for almost a decade.

In fact, it was so old the sprayer mechanism fell apart.

Back in the kitchen, Elaine sacrificed a vegetable wash spray bottle (almost out anyway) so the Goof Off was transferred to that.

A few spritzes into the microwave and a minute to work?

It cleaned!  Hallelujah brothers and sisters, it cleaned.

There are a million lessons in all this:  Why I didn’t use the right next to the microwave steam oven which turns out perfect cookies from cold dough in 20-minutes every time is a matter for genuflection.  Laziness?  Inventiveness? Both, prolly.

But the biggest one of all is “There’s always a solvent.”

After a thorough cleaning with the Goof Off, the high-powered ozone machine from the garden room went into the microwave for 10-minutes.  The little bit of ozone that got out really reduced the smoky smell in the house, too.

A time is coming for America when we may not have Asia supply chains filled with inexpensive consumer goods – like the microwaves.  Gives us reason to begin brushing up right nowon the home maintenance and repair or recovery skills that new kind of world will demand from each of us.

Write when you get rich,

George@Ure.net

author avatar
George Ure
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/George-Ure/e/B0098M3VY8%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share UrbanSurvival Bio: https://urbansurvival.com/about-george-ure/

80 thoughts on “FoodTalk Sunday: $249 Chocolate Chip Cookie”

  1. Yo GrillDaddy,

    Seems like you be stuck in the stone age what wit Ure high heats on meats top or bottom sourced. Ure killing the cut every time you commit high temp cooking of meats. May I suggest the Reverse Cowgirl..unh whoops I mean the Reverse Sear..all youse gotta do is cook Ure steaks GENTLY over Indirect heat(225-275 degrees), then sear over high heat.

    High heat does terrible things to Ure meat..causes da fibers to contract and squeeze out the juices. Not sous vide, where Ure meat is wet inside cooking bag, no no mi amigo, the meat surface is dry in reverse sear, enabling youse to Brown properly at the end and develop rich flavors – end result juicy middle with crisp crust..YUM!

    ps – thickerer cuts better, thin cuts not work so well.

    No mention of Sativa or Indica being “onboarded” prior to microwave choc chip fiasco..my guess – Indica relates to Ures hint of a snooze prior to or during electro magnetic cookie cooking experiment. Just another reason to procure snax and munchies prior to imbibing in da kind.

  2. “BBQ grilled means the heat is applied from the underside of the meat. In broiling the heat is from on top.”

    Anyone that knows me.. knows I am the foodie guy.. got the toys.. love them.. some good some eeeh.. some wonderful ones.. I cannot come home with another smoker or grill.. the ones I love are the pellet smoker the blackstone griddle.. and the charbroil traveling grill.. nice size makes as much and easy storage with a folding cart for it.. perfect.. and worth every penny.. I have my infrared grill if you want to really sear the steaks.. or burgers.. but surprisingly Ron Popeil makes the perfect unit for a couple hundred dollars..
    Years ago.. the best grill I ever seen was one that used little or no power at all.. I was at a green show.. With a Speaker from TED.. he invited me to come along anyway the thing was to explain the benefits of solar power and the grid security..
    the booth next to us.. had a light bulb grill.. smoker.. OMG.. it was torturous.. way back then though the grill was a couple of grand.. it used an infrared light bulb.. accurate temperatures.. set up to hit seven hundred degrees at surface.. or slow go.. they had several of them and cooked all day long.. they shared.. the food court didn’t do any business except for drinks that day..
    I didn’t buy one of those.. it was just to much money but I did buy a light bulb grill.. the reflector system concentrates the heat on the grill plate.. and temperatures that are unheard of can be acheived.. the one I have doesn’t have a lid.. so you literally have to wear welders goggles when you use it..
    Another guy I know does cooking with fresnel lenses.. you have no idea the temperature that I do know of is four thousand degrees at point.. I suggested that solar grills.. and totally have plans to take an old grill bed.. put a solar mass in it then the grill plate on top have a trapezoid reflector down to the grill plate.. you only need six hundred degrees max.. why not.. the kids at MIT after I had suggested this was a future project.. and they make solar grills out of fifty five gallon drums to distribute out.. seen a photo of one once.. haven’t heard how they like them though..
    Now.. Lets get to some real genius.. RON POPEIL
    https://youtu.be/GG43jyZ65R8
    https://www.ebay.com/itm/155410968862?
    I have one of those to.. I actually have two of them but gave the one to the kids because they love rotisserie chicken..
    Now the traeger.. LOVE the traeger.. I have two pellet smokers.. one a traeger trail blazer.. ( for us.. the smaller grills work perfect.. for a huge group the big boy) the other one is a smoky joe..
    https://youtu.be/bPVjd7gMFZ4
    Now I have a cold smoker for my smokers to.. sometimes I love a good smoky cheese.. for a good char on the sides.. use the rotisserie.. or the infrared.. sear the sides.. the slow smoke to the desired doneness..
    https://www.grillseeker.com/cooker-review-tenergy-redigrill-smokeless-infrared-grill/

    • My fascination came out of necessity.. anyone that has ever been hungry will understand..
      I still wanted to be able to enjoy the finer things in life at a grocery store baggers wages.. I got seriously into making beer the year we went without an income.. a guy I worked with.. hated me LOL LOL LOL because I was always talking about making beer and bread etc..and the foodie things.. he actually has a beautiful wood fired oven on his patio big one.. (the guy down the street has a huge one that he actually caters to parties.. wood fired pizza’s) and my old coworker..( he was just a kid in school then) has a multi spigot jockey box made out of an old freezer LOL LOL LOL I must have made him hungry talking about making stuff LOL like the kids and I making cheese or pasta etc…. I forget what he is presently making right now. I think it is an Irish stout.. but not sure..I will have to ask him… he is the patient coordinator now at a major hospital LOL LOL and we do talk often about different brews and breads..He built his own wood fired oven from a kit.. nice outfit.. I think he paid over a thousand for his…. I have the OONI…. https://prohomecooks.com/products/ooni-karu-16?
      I totally want to build one.. My favorite bread story was when I was little .. my mother made bread every week.. then dried out the remaining bread and we had bread pudding on sundays.. anyway.. we went to the lake.. my father forgot to pack the bread.. so mom sent him to the little store at the lake and she got some branches.. and made a frame.. a rock for the inside as a base.. and a rock for a door.. she made the frame.. then my sister and I packed clay around it.. real tight.. my mom made a fire in it.. and then coated it with mud again to seal up the cracks.. dad came and brought mom the stuff and she baked a loaf of bread that today is still the most memorable loaf of bread I have ever tasted.. in that stick oven..
      So I totally want to make a wood fired oven like that.. someday.. make it nice a thick.. watching how rammed earth is.. has me contemplating doing that.. with fire clay..
      until then.. when the boss will let me do it.. I will use the ooni..
      https://www.ebay.com/itm/266103447306
      I believe that is the one he bought to make the one he has..

  3. Air fryer. Plop in your cookie dough, punch a couple beepy buttons and Voila! fresh cookies. The ONLY way to resurrect one of Betty’s cinnamon rolls from the sale barn cafe. My waistline expands at the mere thought.

  4. But the biggest one of all is “There’s always a solvent.”

    If you will allow a cautionary note from this decrepit old chemist who was involved in development of similar products, please use these high impact solvents with the extreme caution they deserve. Hoping to protect you and the friends who comment on this site.

    Ventilation is key when using volatile solvents with toxic profiles like Goof off and Goo gone, both of which work well. I too have bottles of both in my garage. I would always use them in a well ventilated area and only in small amounts and a limited personal exposure time.

    https://prudentreviews.com/goo-gone-vs-goof-off/

    Now consider the plight of the good people of East Palestine who are dealing with thousands of gallons of very similar solvents

    • It amazes me that “samples” which are very small compared to the size of entire water system and the Ohio river … and these little samples are counted as accurate.

      If trace amounts are found in one little sample, what’s the reality of the entire system? Areas of high concentration maybe in other places ?

      https://www.msn.com/en-us/weather/topstories/ohio-officials-say-east-palestines-water-is-safe-but-wheres-the-full-data/ar-AA17U0KT

      I’m 100 miles south of East Palestine and water source here has been changed from the Ohio to the Muskingum river for safety reasons. – we still added some nice water filters on our sinks and showers, and run drinking water through another counter top filtration system.

      Any extra advice would be appreciated.

      • Sounds like you are doing all you can with the filters. Be sure to check with the filter suppliers to confirm what chemicals they remove. Some remove metal contaminants best and others remove organic contaminants and pathogens.

        I do not know the soil characteristics in that area of Ohio but one concern I would have is leeching of surface contaminants into the ground water and travelling long distances. I encountered areas of shale where I found high E. coli contaminant levels from outhouses long distances away.

        Whatever else, you should certainly be using trustworthy independent analytical companies to take samples and reporting.

      • Wait a few weeks, then have your filtered water tested. I believe the only other things you could do would be reverse osmosis and distillation, neither of which is an inexpensive proposition.

        Bob: FTMP the Midwest (sans Michigan) is a few inches to a few feet of rich-loam topsoil that’s setting on a several-feet-thick clay barrier, however, it gets hilly & rocky along the Ohio, so that soil may have a much higher sand/gravel component.

    • OH MY.. I do agree with the use of solvents.. a lot of them that we made had some pretty nasty stuff in them..
      around the house.. I use ORANGE OIL.. or vinegar..
      https://citrusdepot.net/product/orange-oil/
      Now you can make your own orange oil.. and get to eat the oranges to.. ( great idea and I do love my citrus food)
      https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08PQ1K5JF?
      I have several essential oil stills and oil presses.. both manual or automatic.. but making essential oil is pretty easy to do..
      this method is how I have made it for cooking flavorings etc..
      https://youtu.be/mVr43X-kwjU
      this is how I make it for cleaning.. mix it with vinegar and water..
      https://youtu.be/oXn2d-43YZ4
      Now I haven’t tried the method below but have done it like how he did it with vinegar similarly with vodka..
      https://youtu.be/-usvzEUHnE8
      do do it without a still..
      take your wifes two quart pan.. place a grill grate in it.. pour water up to the bottom of the grill grate..
      place a jar in the center of the grate..
      put your peelings around it .. then invert the lid so that the cone of the lid is centered over the jar.. turn your stove on to medium heat.. the orange oil will distill into the jar.. mix with vinegar and water.. you have a cleaner..
      https://www.amazon.com/InBlossoms-Cooling-Barbecue-Carbon-Stainless/dp/B07C7WRKST/ref=asc_df_B07C7WRKST/?
      before I got an essential oil still this is how I did it..

      • A word of caution about orange oil or D-limonene. About 10% of the population can get contact dermatitis from this chemical. It is a good idea to wear gloves even when using this “nature’s own” solvent. I had one chemical manufacturing client several years ago that could not even walk into his factory when orange oil products were being processed. He would get a serious skin rash over his complete body.

        Skin sensitization is a progressive medical issue. It may take several exposures to start but when it does, it gets progressively worse and often serious.

        https://dermnetnz.org/topics/contact-allergy-to-limonene-and-linalool

    • The Comet spray bathroom cleaner will handle a lot of the baked on food removal that other methods can’t touch. I have never tried it on fully carbonized material, primarily because I don’t take naps with food in the oven.

  5. They say this guy is “Koshering the house.” – I thought he was trying to kill Covid in the house.

    Looks more like an arsonist trying to set a fire.

    Wonder if it cleans cookie sheets? Doubt I’d try it, unless it was outside about 100 feet from my house. – some people. Sheesh.

  6. all the talk about food.. had me hungry.. its been a long time since I made salsbury steaks.. so here you go..

    1 1/2 onion.. one onion ground up.. the half onion chopped fine
    1 green pepper chopped fine
    2lbs. of hamburger
    1 jar of beef baby food with gravy
    ( or you can use beef broth.. )
    mix it all up.. then make your patties..
    my favorite press..
    https://www.amazon.com/HAHAYOO-Stuffed-Burger-Stuffer-Hamburger/dp/B08RDDW343/ref=sr_1_8?
    you can make flat burgers or stuffed meatloaf or stuffed burgers.. etc..
    make them as thick as you want.. I like mine 3/4 of an inch thick..
    to cook.. put a pan of beef broth on the stove heat it up and drop the burgers in.. flip halfway through.. if you are like the boss and like the outside charred.. then fry flip fry then put in the broth..
    1 can of chopped mushrooms in the broth.. and 1/2 tsp of Kitchen Bouquet thicken with magic mix.. magic mix recipe is below.. refrigerate after you make it.. 1/3 cup of it is equal to a can of condensed cream of what ever soup..this makes a great gravy mix to just by itself..

    3 cups of powdered milk
    1 cup of corn starch or flour
    1 tsp of salt
    1 stick of cutter.. mix until it looks like cornmeal..
    (I personally like the half cup of flour and half cup of corn starch..)
    1/3 cup of magic mix is equal to one can of condensed cream of what ever you want soup..

    • I guess I should have mentioned that using a different tool (as in cooking surface) has been a lifelong obsession with me. I have done cookie/pancakes, for example. And I have tried – with a notable lack of patience – to make CC cookies in various frying pans. Including one particularly bad propane side burner effort duing the ice storm power outages. With coffee, burnt to hellngone or not, it was useable.
      Just as there is no substitute for a good mortising machine, there is no substitute for the right tools in the kitch.

      In fact, LOOB’s remarks sent me on a personal quest for the largest decent burger press on Amazon – so a 5 /12- inch (label, actual is 5.33 in reported) but his paper pick was spot on.

      The danger of getting old is slowing down and coasting. Nein, nein. Verstehen! Hurry. Life is already too short there is far more wine women and song that ever. Gluttony before she blows!

      (A reference to world tensions, not some Andy adventure…)

      As I type, a perfect cookie is about done in the steam oven…. better go avoid a repeat

      • I generally eat what’s around, so I avoid buying anything sweet or good tasting. Unfortunately, I tend to develop a taste for most any food if I get hungry. The waistline doesn’t seem to care – it stays the same, regardless of the extra holes I’ve drilled in my belts.

        If I had to deal with food stains in a microwave oven, my first thought would have been oven cleaner. I’m thinking of actually using it on my stove top since nothing else, not even gasoline was able to affect the burned on egg and bean droppings.

      • hahhaaha yes sir, I’m often told. “you run 100mph all the time. you never sit still.” that is entirely incorrect. (oh screenshot flash on the screen as I type. hello friend. haha)

        I sit still quite a bit. that is how I run 100mph all the time. I take moments to be still. every morning for 2 hours. and I pause for 10 min here and there throughout the day to think.

        you know one thing George, I’ve never mentioned. I meditate sometimes when I’m looking for direction on something with a compas. then later in the day, the answer on the way to go presents itself. I sit with the level, then the compas, and meditate for 10 to 15 minutes holding the compas in my hand. I say, “show me which way to go DUDE.”

        And the answer always comes. always.

        ohhhh about 4 months ago. I noticed that when I can see the compas with my eyeballs in the state of “in-between” awake and asleep. I actually move the needle on the compass. I can move it as much as 10 degrees. one way or the other.

        I do know the heart is a electromagnet. it pushes out “current” when we feel happy or joy or gratitude and think of pleasant things. can even move metal objects. as the book e squared, 9 do it yourself experiments by Pam Grout suggests. and if you think negative thoughts or Sad or angry feelings it pulls energy in Ward. collapsing the electromagnet field a round you. the electromagnet field is what the new ages (actually not new) commonly refer to the “aura”.

        so when I think happy thoughts while sitting with the compas it moves the needle on the compas as much as 10 degrees east. when I think negative thoughts it moves the needle as much as 10 degrees west.

        trippy eh?

        I’ve played with it a little here and there. and one time i moved the compas needle in my hand as much as 45 degrees. from directly north to north east. just by thinking happy and joyful while in a meditative state.

        makes me wonder if also, you can alter the physical temperature around you in that state. making it Hotter or cooler.

        a long time ago in a far away galaxy, something like that.

        a few freinds and I did that experiment in the garage. we added a few dynamics. where someone is collapsing or thinking negative you could stand infront of them and think happy thoughts and alter their collapsing or drawing in magnetic field. “bless those who curse you” so to speak.

        and it is interesting that we tested certain words and roots of those words. like love, money and doggie and cat. to see if they expanded the electromagnetic field around you or collapsed it. aka aura.

        pretty cool stuf.

        the human body is an amazing mechanism.

      • the parchment papers are the best..I always had trouble with the cellophane and the wax papers..
        those also work great for mini waffles… I make those up for the freezer to..
        I gave the mickey mouse waffle maker to the grandkids..
        the waffle stick boys all got a waffle stick maker..

      • yes, a small scale example of how a planetary pole shift could have occurred.

        because the entire planet is a bunch walking and talking electro magnets. and how all that relates to the Known issues with the vaccine affects on the heart.. is an on going “hmmmmmmmm ponder” I have.

        it took me about an hour to move the needle on the compass 45 degrees. alot of concentration.

        most the time I only move it 10 to 11 degrees.

        and i try not to move it at all. it is more of a useful tool at showing DUDE, i need intuitive direction. faith + works.

        ya know?

        enjoy your Sunday siesta.

      • To me.., too many gadgets and toys in the kitchen stifles creativity and eventually the outcome. I spend my time perfecting the recipe. My oatmeal – chocolate chip – raisin – coconut cookie recipe has been in the works for thirty years. I just got a bag of cinnamon chips and will try a batch with those., substituting for chocolate chips. [ gas, or electric oven.]

      • “(A reference to world tensions, not some Andy adventure…)”

        Lmfao !!

        I think we all need some of Andy’s adventures, that’s Dude’s livin the life, that’s for sure. :)

      • Speaking about wine.. I degassed the wine last night.. just waiting for it to settle before I swap carboys… when I do.. then I will start a second batch.. I tasted it.. not bad.. not bad at all.. we will see when the final results are in the bottle..

  7. Putting a bit of white vinegar in a small glass custard cup and bringing it to a boil in the microwave has never failed to make cleaning the microwave super easy with just a damp cloth or paper towels. All done in less than 5 minutes.

  8. “Elaine (who’d been doing something in the bathroom – ain’t gentlemanly to speculate) strolled in. “Cooking experiment?” She has a good-natured way of saying “You own this shit so you make it right” without ever having to say a word.”

    I have to share the story about the dog..lol lol the dog sheds.. puff ball express.. I tease the wife that its not a nuisance but a new business model..lol wouldn’t you look good in a sweater..lol you should make yarn out of it and knit yourself a sweater…lol lol or a nice pillow..great stuffing filler lol lol lol
    anyway.. she gives me tat look… similar to the one I’m sure Elaine gave you with the cooking experiment comment…
    so..the other day the grand daughter was asking me how hard it was to make yarn or thread etc..she is considering getting a sheep for their few acres..
    So..I dug the little spinning wheel out and set it up..lol lol lol..she gets home walks in and smiles and says..you know your NOT as funny as you think you are lol lol lol
    which is when I had to tell her it was so I could teach the grand daughter how to use it ..lol lol lol
    there’s no way she wants to smell like a wet dog in the rain lol lol

    • There is spot of videos on YouTube about knitting, spinning and wool processing. Sister runs a wool processing mill (raw wool to finished yarn). She told me that if you don’t wash the lanolin out of the wool over time the lanolin turns rancid and makes the wool very stiff. If your grand daughter is learning to knit suggest that she learn the Swedish/Scandinavian method. This method provides better tension control and a better final product. The American/British style is held in very low esteem by knitters who know the Swedish style. BTW the wool from one sheep provides just enough wool for a large sweater

    • You buy zip-up, fabric “pillow bags” and fill them with fur, then toss them in a washing machine — no more doggy smell.

      There’s a whole bunch of people who spin dog, cat, or rabbit fur into thread and yarn. You can find the articles in lots of places (if you’re prompted to look) and there’s probably a bunch of vids by now. I haven’t done it, but the thought has crossed my mind. I have Siberian Huskies. Husky fur is “self-cleaning,” meaning dirt simply falls out of it. It is also obscenely warm, and waterproof…

  9. Re: where there’s smoke…
    feat. Home on the Range

    Folks,

    Isn’t it a tasty Sunday morning treat when ‘Urban’s Chef de Toolshed stirs up a tempest with plug-and-play kitchen appliances only to end up goofing off? Such a pleasant diversion from talk of global mushroom clouds to more tranquil pursuits of in-home nuking of the chocolate chip cookies. Pure bliss. Thank goodness girl guide cookies are still available.

    Of course, the streaming consciousness of DJ George was perhaps prompted by dreamy review of this week’s tightened USA sanctions upon Russia and Belarus. Oh, I’m sorry. Has document 2023-03927 from the US Department of Commerce not yet surfaced in the general concensus? The “Federal Register” ‘s “The Daily Journal of The United States Government” informs interested parties under the “Implementation of Additional Sanctions Against Russia and Belarus Under the Export Administration Regulations (EAR) and Refinements to Existing Controls”.

    As previously noted by the civil service corps of America, HTS-6 code 841840000 banning the export of nuclear reactors did include an in-paragraph clause exempting microwave ovens that were intended for purely domestic use only. However, with effect from February 24th, 2023, HTS-6 code 8516500000 rules that domestic use microwave ovens are prohibited and export permits are unlikely to be granted.

    Since the microwave oven for domestic use was first invented back in the ’70’s by the Soviets, there have arisen perhaps as many as three Russian microwave oven manufacturers since the Age of Perestroika dawned. Are any microwave ovens manufactured in the USA? I have just consulted the back panel of my Sylvania microwave assembled in December, 2004.

    Ah yes, “made in China”.

    • “Are any microwave ovens manufactured in the USA?”

      Dacor and Viking.

      Danby outsourced to China a few years back, but they’ve been bringing their appliances back to this side of the Pacific. I bought a Danby window A/C last year, because it was the only new one not made in China (made in Mexico, but they’re making a couple in Canada again, and are soon to be making all in Canada and Ohio.) Their refrigerators are made in China, but I have hope for their small appliances…

  10. “Smoke was roiling out of the microwave. Instinctively, I hit STOP! Yet still, the smoke rolled out. In a few seconds, the smoke detector began beeping and the house was nearly filled with not very tasty sugary burned smoke smell.”

    hahahhahahahaha reminds me of the awkward end to Time Bandits the Movie.

    as Dad Opens up the microwave and smoke billows out.

    hahahahahahhah.

    “Mom, Dad, don’t touch that it’s pure evil”

    https://youtu.be/XVOeWNwXZpE

  11. I’m glad nobody got hurt. I’m laughing with you not at you.

    you know I have a saying. when I go into someone’s house especially a lady I’m dating. I always at some point open up the microwave and look inside.

    because the microwave is notoriously “the asshole” of the kitchen. you can tell alot about a person by how clean their microwave is. alot of people have immaculately clean kitchens until you open up their microwave and see, yep they have a dirty asshole. hidden right there in plane site. hahahahhahaha.

    it’s true!

    and funny!

    I should watch time bandits now. it was by far one of my favorite movies when I was a kid.

    off to work a Hispanic concert tonight. in Bellevue. I freaking love the Hispanic shows. sooooooo fun. and all the dudes in the bands look like little Elvis, in red Velvet suits with their tubas and accordions. hahaha. love mariachi music. can’t help but smile.

    eveyone is so fun until the 6th shot of tequila kicks in and then it’s usually girl fight night. hahahahaha. they all have these long sharp finger nails and they don’t hardly wear any clothes. hahahhahaa. dragging them out and putting them on the side walk.

    okay , Hispanic show tonight. show me the way DUDE.

    que. ~ Pero la Recuerdo ~

    https://youtu.be/DfiOQAX7j_k

    Pancho Barraza

    • p.s. grill! I use to grill sun or rain or snow. 20 below? crank it on High. remember the meat is still cooking for 5 to 8 minutes after you pulled it off the grill.

      so if you want it pink in the middle? pull it off the heat when it’s still a little bloody.

      that is what she said.

      (rim shot)

      propane and propane accessories. yes sir

  12. Solvent? What removes sticky chewing gum from everything? What kind of a construction shop foreman are you, anyway?
    WD-40 !

  13. “To me, pizza tastes best if it has a crispy bottom. ”
    Amen to that! I abhor a squashed loaf of bread with pizza toppings smeared on. It’s a conspiracy of pizza parlors to fill you up with the cheapest ingredients… bread. “Deep Dish”… indeed. Give me a cracker crust loaded with toppings.

  14. Obviously the problem is that you didn’t use a metal baking pan for the cookie to cook on!! AND … as a benefit you would not have needed to use the ozone generator after since your microwave would have been making it’s own Ozone!!

    (hint … do NOT do this at home!! Only do when you are visiting a friend’s home, say when you stop in to visit George!!)

    More seriously, over the years of camping we have baked many things in cast iron Dutch Ovens, just make sure the coals get packed on top and a along the sides in addition to the bottom of the Dutch Oven being on the prewarmed dirt with just a few coals underneath it (not under the entire bottom).

    I always wanted a solar oven, but never bothered to buy or build one. I have always thought that entire concept is so neat. For me a solar over would be a camping item and almost always when camping we am moving during the day from one campsite to another so I didn’t think it was a practical backpacking or canoeing trip cooking method. (did buy a Solo stove as a backup to the backpack White Gas stove I carry, just like I always carry a backup water purification system to my bag filter system)

  15. I did not know that StarLink made a system for cruising yachts…, if reliable, a great step forward.
    .
    SpaceX made its 63rd dedicated Starlink launch, bringing the total number of Starlinks launched to 3,505 satellites. Of those, 275 have returned to Earth, and 63 aren’t functioning, leaving 2,704 working Starlink satellites in orbit. Only 38,000 more to launch.., and others have been bombarding the Federal Communications Commission to approve over 100,000 additional satellite launches. An incredible 38,000 were proposed solely in November of 2021.
    We are getting very close to the. “Kessler syndrome.”

  16. impossible for humanity to be the cause of a pole shift???? really?

    as was noted in the original zero report edition I. and as I reported Here and elsewhere on the web durring covid there was several micro tesla anomalies during the pandemic. always when there riots it preceded by was large number micro tesla reports. I had a friend in London that got a 650Yt or (micro tesla) test result 10 prior to the protests and riots they had over there. that is super high reading for those who do not know. very high compared George’s microwave.

    as yourself this. because this is my ponder. what portion of the population of the planet resides in Europe and east Asia compres to the north and south. American continent.

    what is the physical weight difference of that many people on that side of the planet compared to the other side.

    what is the electromagnetic force created by human physical bodies from that much population verses the north and south American side of the planet.

    what is the percentage of people on that side of the planet being vaccinated verses the north and south American continent combined? what happens, when a large percent of that population has heart issues, causing electromagnetic abnormalities in that population due to the vaccine and boosters?

    I don’t rule out human casue to the pole shift. I don’t rule out anything. I consider the data as the data.

    if you want to walk in the realm of the God’s? you must consider their understanding and data sets.

    l don’t rule it out. I find it very interesting because nobody else considers it. or talks about it. there for it is like a dirty microwave in a clean kitchen.

    and we must consider the absurd. because the absurd data is the only right data.

    • uhem, ‘sometimes’ the absurd data is the only right data.

      as George said many moons ago tp paraphraze 2006 ish,

      “I may be crazy but that doesn’t make me any less accurate”.

      something like that.

  17. Let’s have a round of applause for Scott Adams!

    “The Media Is Racist”: Elon Musk Slams Coverage Of Scott Adams’ ‘Canceled Dilbert’ Controversy
    https://www.zerohedge.com/political/papers-cancel-dilbert-after-adams-tells-whites-stay-away-blacks

    As he said in so many words – “I’ve had it. There is no placating OR helping these people. 46% of those polled said it’s NOT OK to be White. EFF ’em.”.

    Things will only get worse before they get better. Personally I think Putin has a better idea when it comes to crowd control. You have to be reasonably intelligent to enjoy and retain freedom, integrity and individuality but it takes zero brain cells to go along with the crowd.

    • “As they dropped Dilbert, newspapers issued statements condemning Adams. John Hiner, VP of content for Michigan’s MLive Media, said the group has “zero tolerance for racism. And we certainly will not spend our money supporting purveyors of it.”

      As is typically the case with cancellations, Hiner chose not to provide details of Adams’ remarks, and also told readers not to research them (my emphasis added -R) and make their own judgments: “I will not characterize Adams’ racist views or even provide a link to the video….My advice: Save yourself the poison.”

      I believe M-Live is an agglomeration service which acquires news articles from Michigan locals, then makes them available to other Michigan media, Statewide. At least that’s my impression of it.

      ANY article which encourages “equity,” promotes “Black-owned business,” indeed, even mentions a human ethnicity without such being a requirement for proper comprehension of the article or advertisement is, by definition, racist. Don’t even get me started on the “fan fiction” called “The 1619 Project” (or advertising for its Netflix mini-series) being now foist on ignorant adults and children as an historic fact.

      I would guess there is at least one racist article per day on M-Live. Will anyone call them on it?

  18. remember what is written,

    ““And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”

    boom pole flip, then the flood.

    notice it says Heart not brain. if says the “thoughts of his heart”

    well, there ya go.

    it’s a possibility, I have been pondering. among many other things. since we are at the end of the aeon. and there is always a great cataclysm that marks the end if the aeon and the start of a new one.

  19. Regarding new microwaves: After 10 years of daily use, the motor that turns the carousel in mine made a grinding noise and quit working. I was checking Consumer Reports evaluations on new models, and there were abundant user reviews saying that new machines tend to die shortly after the one-year warranties run out, usually from magnetron failure. It didn’t seem to matter what brand it was.

    It cost about $100 to put in new motor in my old microwave. I figured if the microwave lasted a couple of years the work would pay for itself. It has now been several years, and the microwave is still cranking. I seemed to have cheated a corporate planned obsolescence scheme, at least for now. If the old oven completely fails, I’ll have to either jump on the throwaway appliance train, or bring my ancient, non-carousel, non-digital-display, built-like-a-tank Litton microwave up from the basement.

    • ” I’ll have to either jump on the throwaway appliance train, or bring my ancient, non-carousel, non-digital-display, built-like-a-tank Litton microwave up from the basement.”

      Yeah, I have an American-made Amana RadarRange in storage for just such an event. I think I paid $10 for it (from a high school’s teacher’s lounge) and spent a couple hours disassembling, cleaning, and refurbing it. The early Litton and Amana microwaves really were built like tanks (and they’re frickin’ heavy, compared to today’s junk!)

      I suggest you grab the part number of your oven’s magnetron, and buy a NOS replacement now, while they’re both cheap and available, then shelve it for later.

  20. Folks,

    The White House transcripts are posted for the gaggle of press flocking about President Biden readying for departure with Marine One from the South Lawn. After mention was made of the trip to Kiev, Mr. B. noted his Administration’s fast Ohio train derailment response via the Zoom platform.

    In fact, Mr. Biden emphasized his point by taking a page out of DJ George’s song request line operating manual no less. According to the transcript: “Zoom! Zoom. All I can hear every time I hear Zoom is that song of my generation, ‘Who’s Zoomin’ Who?’

    Sir ?

    Have you –

    Guys, wait, wait, wait. Let me answer the question.”

    And now here’s DJ George zooming in on some Aretha Franklin!

    • I think “Zoom, Zoom” was a song from one of those damn’ Dizzney movies my kids watched when they were growing up.

      -=ugh=-

      Still, a Disney “tweeny” movie is probably more-sophisticated than Mr. Biden’s brain function, when he’s not being pumped full of Adderall…

  21. Super clean by Caster-oil Mister…………….

    had a lil diner yrs ago, tried everything to clean the backsplash on the grill.

    happened on super clean, absolutely amazing, actually worked too good so they stopped making it for a yr or so to rework the formula.

    Used it to take the black marks on the floors too.

    little trick too………. As it makes grease “Water Soluble”………

    Pre-treat your Greasy Work clothes with it, let it sit a bit then wash.
    never had grease stained work clothes when I did it when I was turnin wrenches.
    Even…………. takes out 5th wheel grease , Ain’t Nothing Else, Takes That out !!!!!!!!!!!

    just watch out with painted surfaces, removes paint on occasion toooo

  22. with regards to the vaccinated and flood etc. as the story line goes,

    ‘The Flood spread from the Pheru to Humans, specifically through the humans who ate the Pheru as food. These new vectors forced their fellows to consume infected tissue and spread the infection to whatever they touched. In time, whatever they discarded—limbs, tissue—could also spread infection.[7] The Flood continued to mutate and evolve and fought a war with both the Ancient Human Empire and the San’Shyuum”

    it is a very interesting notion and the pieces of that, fits comparatively accross the entire spectrum of facets.

    pole shift, electromagnet forces generated by human hearts and for abnormalities found in hearts in the vaccinated, Flux in the magniscphere etc etc. cross referencing to biblical scriptures, abstract artistic “metephorical representations, anomalous Flux in measured micro tesla units accross the globe etc etc. etc. etc. and I have had many thoughts considering the information provided, as it continues to link and form.

    no matter how absurd the notion may seem? it does data link together and fit very very well.

    like I said, I scoffed at first when it came to me in thought. nah. that is ridiculousness. until I pieced it together. more and more like Bill Gates buying up farm land I think, oh because of famine, unless you count gmo food and how it relates to

    the story’s about the great flood scattered around the world and how many of them reference in my own personal translations of language that clearly reference “heart” as part of the equation prior to the flood. sanskrit, old Chinese and Mongolian translations, Hebrew, hopi language and Navaho records, even myan records as was custom to rip the heart out in human sacrifice to the “gods” aka removing the electromagnetic engine of the human body as a gift to the “gods”.

    hmmmmm…. indeed.

    until we meet again. I’m at the haciendas party, already as you could guess, in the right place at the right time doing what I do. and have said so many times.

    I’m always employed doing DUDE work. moving things, that wouldn’t have moved had I not been there.

    see ya around.

  23. “A time is coming for America when we may not have Asia supply chains filled with inexpensive consumer goods – like the microwaves. Gives us reason to begin brushing up right now on the home maintenance and repair or recovery skills that new kind of world will demand from each of us.”

    Does this mean I’m finally converting you?

    If you get your hundred year toaster now,

    https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2380057.m570.l1313&_nkw=sunbeam+%22radiant+control%22+toaster&_sacat=0

    you can afford the buffing compound to make it shine

    https://www.ebay.com/itm/154532084201

    TEMCo nichrome wire should you need to repair it

    https://www.ebay.com/itm/283239820623

    and Sundial wire, should you need to rewire it

    https://sundialwire.com/collections/16-gauge-wire

    Real hundred year toasters are likely to get expensive in the near future, unless we EMP or nuke ourselves out of existence.

    I didn’t pay more than $35 for any of my toasters, counting shipping (I have three of these, for three kids, not counting the T-20 I’ve been using for the past 40 years). 10 years ago, they were priced between $229-$269 for NOS or restored units. Apparently, they’ve increased in price since Sunbeam vacated Chicago to make shit in China.

    BTW, a dead microwave is usually resurrected by replacing the blown AGC that’s soldered into the power wire, or the (currently ~$30 on eBay) magnetron tube — get spares while you can…

    =============================

    This post is rhetorical — made as a warning for people to start thinking outside the box NOW, while it is still reasonably easy to do so. TEMCo wire makes good igniters for model rockets, a 3AG socket makes replacing that AGC microwave fuse easy, lots of things besides headlights use rubbing/polishing/buffing compound.

    I used to live 6 miles from a “Class A” nuclear target. Now I live where I’m not likely to have my NukAlert go off unless someone uses a 20 megaton ground burst (incredibly unlikely) on the nearest likely target.

  24. Grilling meat produces carcinogens.

    A fine senior moment with the microwave. It’s why most seniors eventually become a danger to themselves. In fires, people do not die from heat, they die from odorless and invisible gasses.

    WD-40 would have removed the stain. The WD stands for water displacement but it will also displace most everything else too.

    They don’t even sell microwaves in Russia. Honestly tested them and found the food harmful. Prove it to yourself, microwave the water you put on one of your house plants. It won’t last a month.

    Plus you are ingesting GMO food regularly. Labeling of GMO foods is required by law in Ecuador. In the USA, it is illegal to label food as non-gmo, much less label those containing them. If you have a pet, get some genuine gmo pet food, and some non gmo, and see which one it chooses.

    If things in the USA are as bad as you imply, why the hell are you sitting there waiting for the shit storm to come down on your head?

    I know, I know, comfort is such an effective drug for Americans. Plus you also have the opportunity to monetize the end of the empire. And all this distraction with your toys keeps you from studying what is really happening to your facsimile of a country.

    It’s a very simple concept, no borders, no country. Then there is that other list as long as my arm that is driving the country to third world status, or worse, a failed state.

    Write when your government actually does something that benefits the people, instead of trying to control/impoverish/kill them.

    If you really want to fix your internet problems, get an Apple iMac (about a grand on sale) as proof of concept. But you are too fucking proud of your “computer skills” which are close to shit at your age. But warning, don’t let your wife use it, because she will give you crap for years because you made her use the micro$oft shit for so long. I would buy one and send it to you, but I fear you are a lost cause. You know, pearl before swine, the unteachables kind of thing.

    In my 25 years as a computer consultant, I billed for more than $100k just waiting for them to get their Microsoft crap to work. Then they would go out and buy more of it. Nobody ever got fired for buying Microsoft.

    If Bill Gates was able to sell the world on windoze and Microsoft, which has been released as beta software for forever, selling the world COVID and the death jabs was a fucking walk in the park. Worked on you too, didn’t it?

    • “In the USA, it is illegal to label food as non-gmo, much less label those containing them.”

      No, it’s not.

      “If you really want to fix your internet problems, get an Apple iMac Win box”

      There — Fixed that for you.

      Computer consultant? I thought you were a MadAve-type? If you did consulting, you should know Microsoft became ubiquitous because Gates & Allen allowed the unrestricted pirating of Windows 3.1, 95, and 98 (and early flavors of Word and Office). You should also know what Micro$oft did for the corporate world was establish a chain of responsibility which extended outside the corporate walls, so when computers shit themselves, the Operators, Admins, and Analysts could play the “not-me” game and save their jobs. Microsoft’s corporate EULA prohibited suing them, so they simply absorbed all the damage without risk, and excused the CP higher-ups from discipline or expungement.

      “Windows” was never supposed to work right. It was only supposed to work “well enough,” and become so universal that once you were in “Windows Hell,” there was no financially-viable escape.

      This is why it has essentially been in “continuous beta” since 1993…

  25. As someone who lived in southern Indiana 4 years and near Kansas City for 14, I had to take up smoking meat on a grill out of self defense. A lot of houses in Indiana had little patios behind them with brick chimneys about 8′ tall with a low, steplike stove coming out of the side. They smoke about anything in them, but storebought ham is just not good enough. Meat dripping onto coals is avoided in favor of hardwood smoke. Webber (the kettle grill maker) has good basic directions for setting up a grill for direct, indirect, smoking and other cooking methods. stevenraichlen is my hero. I’ll never forget the spatchcock demo where he had a whole chicken deboned , seasoned, smashed flat while still intact, ready for the grill and side dishes mostly ready to cook before the charcoal was ready. It’s at least a month til lomo al trappo season but guests rave. https://food52.com/blog/4178-steven-raichlen-s-salt-crusted-beef-tenderloin-grilled-in-cloth-lomo-al-trapo

  26. That is fancier than I get; pate’, walnuts and cranberries is new to me but sounds good. My Wellington is simpler and done in individual size with thick cut t.l. steaks:
    Potted Mushrooms (make as needed or months in advance):
    2 leeks, white part only, chopped
    1 shallot, minced
    1 tb onion flakes or 1/4 c chopped onion
    3 or 4 large portabellas, chopped with black ‘gills’ first scraped out and discarded (for looks. Otherwise everything turns black)
    1 or 2 roasted/seeded jalapenos chopped (optional)
    Thyme, black pepper, and salt
    Saute leeks, onion and shallot in butter and a dash of seasoning until they start to brown, Add mushrooms, jalapeno, more seasoning to taste and a splash of sherry (or sake, vermouth, or whatever is your fav) more butter as needed. Continue to cook over med/low until liquid is gone and mushrooms are browned and alliums are darker. Take pan off heat and when cool enough to handle, pack into a ziplock bag and flatten, getting all of the air out and lay in freezer. The key is getting it thin enough to break off the right size of chunk when needed for Wellington, brie encroute, quiche, omelet, hamburgers, pizza and everything else.
    Steaks:
    Trim well of fat and connective tissue (you can tie once around the outside if falling apart but I don’t because of how many times I’ve missed a piece and somebody doesn’t like eating string), rub with prepared mustard, sprinkle with kosher salt, cracked pepper and thyme. Fry in butter in a hot cast iron pan to sear each side of each steak and quickly remove so that they are not cooked through. Or brush with butter on a hot grill outside with some smoking wood on the coals. High heat and quick to form a crust, but not cook. Let cool while rolling the puff pastry thin. Place some potted mushrooms on top of each steak and wrap with a piece of dough. Pinch the seams together and seal using milk or beaten egg. Place each steak on a small aluminum foil piece folded into a little pan to stop from dripping in the oven. Brush the entire package in either milk or egg wash for browning. Bake at 400+ until crust is browned or toasted color. I get m/w to well done in about 25 min. Rest about 15 min, then slice a time or 2 to check doneness and give diners a head start on carving. Don’t try to slice more or it falls apart and looks ugly on the table.
    p.s.: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do make this a lot. I’ve done it with a t.l. roast several times and it is a crowd pleaser. Your recipe looks good and should have you hailed as a master. As I was once told: Don’t tell anyone about your screwups. And have a great bottle of wine handy.

  27. That is fancier than I get; pate’, walnuts and cranberries is new to me but sounds good. My Wellington is simpler and done in individual size with thick cut t.l. steaks:
    Potted Mushrooms (make as needed or months in advance):
    2 leeks, white part only, chopped
    1 shallot, minced
    1 tb onion flakes or 1/4 c chopped onion
    3 or 4 large portabellas, chopped with black ‘gills’ first scraped out and discarded (for looks. Otherwise everything turns black)
    1 or 2 roasted/seeded jalapenos chopped (optional)
    Thyme, black pepper, and salt
    Saute leeks, onion and shallot in butter and a dash of seasoning until they start to brown, Add mushrooms, jalapeno, more seasoning to taste and a splash of sherry (or sake, vermouth, or whatever is your fav) more butter as needed. Continue to cook over med/low until liquid is gone and mushrooms are browned and alliums are darker. Take pan off heat and when cool enough to handle, spoon into a ziplock bag and flatten, getting all of the air out and lay in freezer. The key is getting it thin enough to break off the right size of chunk when needed for Wellington, brie encroute, quiche, omelet, hamburgers, pizza and everything else.
    Steaks:
    Trim well of fat and connective tissue (you can tie once around the outside if falling apart but I don’t because of how many times I’ve missed a piece and somebody doesn’t like eating string), rub with prepared mustard, sprinkle with kosher salt, cracked pepper and thyme. Fry in butter in a hot cast iron pan to sear each side of each steak and quickly remove so that they are not cooked through. Or brush with butter on a hot grill outside with some smoking wood on the coals. High heat and quick to form a crust, but not cook. Let cool while rolling the puff pastry thin. Place some potted mushrooms on top of each steak and wrap with a piece of dough. Pinch the seams together and seal using milk or beaten egg. Place each steak on a small aluminum foil piece folded into a little pan to stop from dripping in the oven. Brush the entire package in either milk or egg wash for browning. Bake at 400+ until crust is browned or toasted color. I get m/w to well done in about 25 min. Rest about 15 min, then slice a time or 2 to check doneness and give diners a head start on carving. Don’t try to slice more or it falls apart and looks ugly on the table.
    p.s.: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do make this a lot. I’ve done it with a t.l. roast several times and it is a crowd pleaser. Your recipe looks good and should have you hailed as a master. As I was once told: Don’t tell anyone about your screwups. And have a great bottle of wine handy.

  28. That is fancier than I get; pate’, walnuts and cranberries is new to me but sounds good. My Wellington is simpler and done in individual size with thick cut t.l. steaks:
    Potted Mushrooms (make as needed or months in advance):
    2 leeks, white part only, chopped
    1 shallot, minced
    1 tb onion flakes or 1/4 c chopped onion
    3 or 4 large portabellas, chopped with black ‘gills’ first scraped out and discarded (for looks. Otherwise everything turns black)
    1 or 2 roasted/seeded jalapenos chopped (optional)
    Thyme, black pepper, and salt
    Saute leeks, onion and shallot in butter and a dash of seasoning until they start to brown, Add mushrooms, jalapeno, more seasoning to taste and a splash of sherry (or sake, vermouth, or whatever is your fav) more butter as needed. Continue to cook over med/low until liquid is gone and mushrooms are browned and alliums are darker. Take pan off heat and when cool enough to handle, spoon into a ziplock bag and flatten, getting all of the air out and lay in freezer. The key is getting it thin enough to break off the right size of chunk when needed for Wellington, brie encroute, quiche, omelet, hamburgers, pizza and everything else.
    Steaks:
    Trim well of fat and connective tissue (you can tie once around the outside if falling apart but I don’t because of how many times I’ve missed a piece and somebody doesn’t like eating string), rub with prepared mustard, sprinkle with kosher salt, cracked pepper and thyme. Fry in butter in a hot cast iron pan to sear each side of each steak and quickly remove so that they are not cooked through. Or brush with butter on a hot grill outside with some smoking wood on the coals. High heat and quick to form a crust, but not cook. Let cool while rolling the puff pastry thin. Place some potted mushrooms on top of each steak and wrap with a piece of dough, (save scraps of dough, mash scraps together, roll and make into a fruit tart for desert). Pinch the seams together and seal using milk or beaten egg. Place each steak on a small aluminum foil piece folded into a little pan to stop from dripping in the oven. Brush the entire package in either milk or egg wash for browning. Bake at 400+ until crust is browned or toasted color. I get m/w to well done in about 25 min. Rest about 15 min, then slice a time or 2 to check doneness and give diners a head start on carving. Don’t try to slice more or it falls apart and looks ugly on the table.
    p.s.: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do make this a lot. I’ve done it with a t.l. roast several times and it is a crowd pleaser. Your recipe looks good and should have you hailed as a master. As I was once told: Don’t tell anyone about your screwups. And have a great bottle of wine handy.

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