Hyper’s Cyber Scam?
Our early morning guidance for the week. (Don’t Buy Shit You Don’t Need!)
Take for example this morning: Got up super-early because we didn’t over-eat because we didn’t do our turkey this weekend. Simply too much going on around here.
But there – 5:22 AM today – I spied something I had never heard of before while blowing through umpteen gazillion Amazon Cyber Monday deals. Ready? ????? ?????? 14pcs Suction ????? ?????? Cupping Set Therapy Cupping Tools for Massage. And just $105.
I sat there hovering over the clicker. Should I?
Just then the little voice in my head went off: “DBSYDN!”
It continued, too: “Look Bozo, do you have any idea what “cupping” is as it relates to massage?” Caffeine shock froze me. “Well, er, no, now that you mention it…”
“How many Urban readers know, either? See, Bozo, this is why people read Urban. Because besides the financial stuff which is good, you also get into all kinds of trippy-shit. People find that amusing as hell. Word spreads. People like the leading edge of economics, unconventional news, and out-right woo woo…”
Coffee buzz passed. Little voice in the head returned to singing the first “Hark the Herald” verses of the season. And I swore to look up “cupping.” Wiki’s as:
“Cupping therapy is a form of alternative medicine in which a local suction is created on the skin with the application of heated cups. Its practice mainly occurs in Asia but also in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Latin America. Cupping has been characterized as a pseudoscience and its practice as quackery.
Cupping practitioners attempt to use cupping therapy for a wide array of medical conditions including fevers, chronic low back pain, poor appetite, indigestion, high blood pressure, acne, atopic dermatitis, psoriasis, anemia, stroke rehabilitation, nasal congestion, infertility, and menstrual period cramping.”
Fortunately, I haven’t suffered menstrual cramping lately, although high blood pressure returns whenever I read anything with the words “Pennsylvania” and “Election” in the same paragraph. Drives people “into their cups” as it were.
Instead? I ordered a stocking-stuffer: Quackery: A Brief History of the Worst Ways to Cure Everything.
Why, already I’m feeling better!
“Trute B Tolt”
There is likely not very damn much than won’t be cheaper in January in the after Christmas sales than what you will find today.
Yes, we know that “burning the hole in the pocket” feeling well. But takes money to make money – money to print copies of resumes, gas to get to interviews, and food till the first check comes in.
Pass on the hype. Sit on the wallet. Go back to the Old America. No debt.
(boom-dash) Since that’s not bloody likely…
Stock Futures are in the tank, -150 an hour before the open – but until we take out the bottom of the present trend channel, we will try not to cower under the bed. We’re still in a blow-off until this trend channel busts. Sure, times are going to be bad in 2021. But not before lunch. And most people don’t think further ahead than dinner-time.
Not only that, but the price of gold is dropping, too. On the NASDAQ site we found “PRECIOUS-Gold spirals lower on vaccine-led economic recovery bets” which may figure.
Still, M&A (mergers and acquisitions) continue. Which we’d expect, what with money being free and all. S&P Global Buys IHS Markit For $44 Billion In Biggest M&A Deal of 2020.
Joephoria – Leg Pulling?
The (media-named) president-elect has a foot fracture – says over here it’s from playing with the dog. But…
Am I the only one with enough of a “bean buzz” on to remember that Hillary Clinton fell and broke a toe a few years back?
Conspiracy theorists, are you ready?
Let’s all whisper the conspiracy plot line. Ready? Set: “Democrats, who run for the White House make deals with the Devil to get out the vote. In return, the Devil gets to injure their right foot or leg…”
Yeah. Both right feet and medical booties.
Not only that, but how many remember president Obama also had a right foot problem that was written-up in the NY Times in 2014?
We might build on the conspiracy notion, since there have been shoe throwing incidents involving republicans as intended recipients.
But the real capper to the conspiracy notion was the 1997 injury to former president Bill Clinton who injured his right knee rather badly.
If you see the pattern, congrats! (Your reader stuffer should be How We Know What Isn’t So: The Fallibility of Human Reason in Everyday Life.”)
While there was no particular injury to former president Johnson’s feet, it may have been due to confusion or preemption on the Devil’s part: Lyndon Johnson had two rather different sized feet and was pigeon-toed. Howazzat for coffee pot trivia?
Not that there is anything to such conspiratorial thinking. But, with the election certification battles continuing, it’s something different to “kick around.”
(Pun police will have my office surrounded any minute now…)
Grim & Grimmer
What could be worse than Joephoria? What’s not to love about a Roller-backer of tax cuts, party of the unpassable Covid benefit packages? Anxious to cuddle with Iran again (despite their nuclear falsehoods)? “Please Joe, Please, send ’em a pallet of hundreds for us, too…”
In general, he’s the best president-elect money could buy, right?
Say Joe: Don’t look now but the Holiday Eviction Season is here. Says the Boston Herald “Evictions happening around U.S. despite federal ban.”
National phenomenon: In Florida: City to start accepting applications for grant money to prevent evictions.”
Media happy-talk continues. Babbling Joephoria!
For example: America’s unemployment has been worse amid the pandemic than other countries, but Joe Biden has a plan to fix it. Color us skeptical: Where is this hypothetical plan and where’s the legislation and why isn’t Congress working its ass off on our behalf right this freakin minute?
Well, shit, Citizen: Answer’s obvious: Cyber Monday. Joe’s busy.
(Shall we look for a laptop for Hunter? And “send some to Pops…”?)
That Friendly Kamunist
Not like this wasn’t seen in advance: “Kamala Harris slammed for tweet sucking up to small businesses after bailing out rioters.”
Just wait until Joe’s 25th’ed out.
You don’t think this is somehow connected to the report that “Small business confidence drops to all-time low after Biden election,” do you? Gee, wonder what people holding the bag must be thinking….
A few more Monday jabs? We gotta million of ’em coming: Moderna says new data shows Covid vaccine is more than 94% effective, plans to ask FDA for emergency clearance later Monday. Goody. You first.
Environmentalists are coming to a new battle line. In where else, but Washington state? ” Proposed pesticide, heavy-metal testing rules in Washington state roil marijuana cultivators.” Swear to God, people lock-down and get stupid, sometimes. Anything to justify a tax or make up regulatory jobs.
You realize, just 100-years ago, there were virtually no regulators around? Not only that, but marijuana was legal even in Texas until 1919. Today, saddled with regulators out the ying-yang, people are just trying to get some of their former freedoms back.
Trust me, those freedoms are just another monetization. They will be rented, not given. If ceded at all…
Dave Prowse: George Lucas remembers ‘imposing’ Darth Vader actor. (When I breathed like that it was time for the inhaler…)
Yep, slow news day when Ure’s reduced to rewriting the Obits…
The Week Ahead
Not much better.
Lousy calendar today and tomorrow. Job reports will begin as the real data flow picks up Wednesday, the job cuts Thursday and Federal numbers Friday.
First frost will come through East Texas tonight. You-know-who will be out covering faucets today.
And so we begin…lets talk next month. Tomorrow.
Write when you get done,