While I am working around the ranch – where we mostly raise bugs this time of year – little things go through my mind. Items from the daily news flow that I can’t get out of my head.
Yeah, I should be able to banish them, but stories – like VP Mike Pence going to South Korea to stand on the border with North Korea struck as as expensively redundant.
You can say that again…
What I mean by this is that we don’t really need to send Pence – I mean he may have had other agenda items, sure. Inspect the troops and what-not.
But since the president has shown little regard for the “old way of doing politics” perhaps it’s time he started holding press conferences with props.
Here’s how it could be scripted:
The president comes out, looks directly at the camera, and says “I don’t know how hard of hearing the little kid in North Korea is, but let me tell you why I think he has a hearing problem.
We plopped 59 cruise missiles into Syria the other day.
Shortly thereafter, we used the Mother Of All Bombs – the MOAB – to kill upwards of 100 ISIS fighters in Afghanistan.
Now, I don’t care how dumb an American you are,, everyone ‘here gets what I’m telling him.
But he still doesn’t hear me. So instead of sending the Vice President to yell from the South Korea border, I thought it would be a lot more humane if we sent him two gifts.
The first is a top of the line American Made hearing aid. We’re tossing in a one year supply of batteries, too.
Then, because we don’t wish him any harm, we’re going to send him a six month subscription to his choice of Jenny Craig or Weightwatchers.”
I don’t know, but seems to me that such a press event would be an instant hit.
We could, with the simple addition of props, dramatically improve the ratings of the live newsers who are always making up slanted Trump-bash stories in order to feather their own ratings.
Let’s consider the props that could be used elsewhere:
When congress – predictably – doesn’t actually do anything about healthcare reform, Trump could use a box of Kleenex or a 12-pack of Charmin for the babies who won’t step up and the whiners who are afraid of the future.
I could suggest sending the president of Mexico a new Kindle with some landscaping books preloaded. So they can figure out how to improve the look of their side of the wall.
I could get a Louisville Slugger baseball bat and pass it around for the Joint Chiefs to sign.
“To Vlad: This is out littlest one. the bigger ones come airmail. – The CiC and the Joint Chiefs…”
To be sure, keeping secret who is coming to visit the White House is totally uncool. Must be something in the plumbing that takes control of people who come in creative.
Maybe that Directorate 153 group we suggested…
Whatever the reason, there are ways that Trump could push his poll numbers up – and playing golf of bringing the wife and son to the White House instead of NYC isn’t it.
No, I think we need to have a government Props Department. One we can actually talk about.
We’ve heard it rumored before: With the Philadelphia Project,Montauk, shock & awe…and maybe the moon landing.
But where is the Props Department when we really need one?
Except…maybe…trying to find an American made anything to use as a prop.
That would go some distance toward making us great again.
It’s one thing to have a Joke in Chief as the lefties wail; but a little levity and laughter? Sure…why not? A lot of America is a joke any more, starting with political correctness and the whole melting pot deal.
My “Prop du jour” for today?
Can’t stand the whining of Trump propping things up without props.
Write when you get rich, or hear an actual PC acceptable joke.