Coping: The Lost Art of Swearing Well

How many times have I warned you about “commoditization?”

That’s where you take something that once took a little bit of skill or art, and turn it into a mass-produced kluge of the SoS – same old shit.

One of the most notable victims of becoming a commodity? The High Art of Swearing.

Elaine and I got to kicking this one around t’other night sitting in the sun room, watching 11, yes that’s right 11 deer wander through the well posted “No Hunting” front yard.

She was describing someone she’d bumped into at the store as being “Looked like he’d been pulled the wrong way out of a knot-hole.

I got a kick out of that, since it was one I hadn’t heard before. But I quickly regained my standing with “head on thon like a bastard calf” which had been worked around to [so and so} is “no better than a bald or bastard calf…”

Late comic guru George Carlin explained the problem with people being limited to things like the “eff” word. He asked “If you really don’t like someone, why would you tell them to go enjoy one of Life’s greater joys….like it’s punishment!”

Point well taken.

So I decided in the interest of raising the art of insult from the lousy level of urban rap, we could try to be just a little more creative round here.

I suggested someone might be described as “Uglier than pig afterbirth…” Elaine says that’s too close to “You old sow…” which is a common polite insult. Along the lines of “You old hide…” which is a cowboy insult/greeting.

Biddies, of course, are old, useless chickens being kept alive for stewing. Chicks are young, and I told Elaine she was still at the good-looking fryer stage. She said I was looking like a friar, too.

Which gets to the point this morning: If in your travel’s you’ve come across a fine bit of high insult or invective, please feel free to share it.

And to share back in advance, you might try calling someone you know “Elephant Phlegm” and report back to us.

More Site Changes

OK, now I have done it:  Moved into the current century by putting a bun ch of social(ist) media connectors.  The most requested one is the “email to a friend with summary” but there are more.

On the color:  Would it be more pleasing to have the sides of the page be something like that light blue from the logo, not the dark blue?

Let me know and yes, I will try to keep up with the social stuff better.

Massive Antenna Follow-Up

Maybe this massive new antenna wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

How so?

Well, if you remember we did go through four days of work, including a stuck scissor lift a couple of times putting up the 746-foot long monster antenna last week.

It’s 186-feet from the 4:1 balun at the feed point down to the southeast, and from the balun the #10 AWG stranded insulated wire runs 560 feet up to the Northwest.

No, that’s not the problem.

It’s the signal reports from other hams around the world.

Sunday morning I got up to play with the radio while it was still dark. My reward was a 20 db. over S-9 signal out of the Honolulu area…so when my buddy (and long-time reader) Hank gets an HF radio fired up with an 80-meter antenna, we shouldn’t just be able to communicate: With this kind of signal strength I should be able to warm up his coffee as well.

Same kind of reports from everywhere: 30 over S9 out of Mexico City and 20 over 9 in Florida, and so forth.

This is really a “spoiler antenna.” That means if I can hear a station, they can hear me.

Talking to the earthquake net real close to the resonant point of the antenna (3817 KHz LSB) it’s 20 over most everywhere except where people’s antennas are oriented anywhere near my location.

Buddy Jeff from the local ham club says he’s heard of one other antenna like this – it was a several wavelength loop antenna. That, he said, was just like talking on a directional beam antenna on a big tower, but getting out like that in all directions at the same time.

Curiously, on the 20-meter ham band (14 MHz) the antenna is quieter than the 20 meter beam. But signals are louder until the beam is aimed right and then it’s a toss-up, but with less fading with the mega-antenna.

The research will continue, as time permits…but like I said, it’s definitely a “spoiler” like the original Henry Amplifiers and radios of the Art Collins or R.L. Drake type that even today will keep up with all but the most ridiculously over-priced “rice boxes” out of the Asian radio makers.

Got a new theory of war, thanks to ham radio.

It occurred to me that we need wars once in a while so we can change country names in order to keep the DXCC pursuit interesting. (The DX Century Club is for people who have talked to more than 100 countries…helps to know that.)

I lost track of a lot of my old cards, but I wonder if my contact cards from The Congo, Laos, and so forth would still be recognized today?

My son, also an Extra Class ham will be down in January which is right about the peak of the 80 meter and 160 meter DX Season…Maybe he can snag a Worked all Continents on 160 while he’s here.

Yikes! Open Enrollment

There’s a good part about making it to retirement age: If you worked enough, you can get Medicare.

There’s also a bad part: It takes on the order of hours to wade through the choices available if you live in a major city.

Back on the bad side, out here in the woods, there are fewer choices to select from. A quick glance at the numbers this year show that we will be able to pick from a) An Outrageously Expensive Plan, b) a Nearly Useless Plan, c) A Total POS plan, and d) An Overpriced plan.

Like last year, we will likely go with D.

The open enrollment period for Medicare funs until December 7. Which is too bad. I have a periodic lube, oil, and filter with my Doc a few days after the Open Enrollment period ends.

I don’t know about you, but I’d sure like it if my Doc would tell me which plan he figures would work out best for me, and take a stab at Elaine’s options, too.

I’m sure they won’t want to get involved, since Medicare supplements and plans are insurance products and that’s just more schooling, another bunch of tests, and paperwork.

But I can dream, right?

Since out choices out here seem to be limited to picking a Part D prescription plan, Medicare Advantage Plans seem to live in big cities with enough bodies to make sense, our selection process is somewhat truncated.

It’s a good idea when you take your pills on Plan Selection work day to leave them all out so you will have the medication names handy to put in the forms which seems to have something to do with price. But even that is sketchy.

Oh well…back to slogging through it…write when you get rich,

George@ure.net

Comments

Coping: The Lost Art of Swearing Well — 31 Comments

  1. 1. When you were born, you were so ugly the doctor slapped your Mother.

    2. You were an ugly baby, you were breastfed by your Mother. Your Mother said she liked you as a friend.

    3. Last week, you went to see your psychiatrist, she said you were crazy. You told her you would like a second opinion, she said, ok, you are ugly, too!

  2. Insult; “If I had a dog as ugly as you, I’d shave his tail and teach him to walk backwards.”
    or,
    “I’d call you stupid, but that would insult truly stupid people everywhere.”
    Also, see every verse of “You’re Bound to Look Like a Monkey When You Get Old,”
    Such as, “I can tell by your knees, You been climbing up the coconut trees, You’re bound to look like a monkey when you get old.”

  3. Non cuss word insults:

    *I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person.

    *Bolshevick

    *Communist

    *Pharisee

  4. Like the new design… no use for the social media stuff, as i do not MyFace or SpaceBook or Giggletwat…

    According to the late, great Douglas Adams (author of the 6-book Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy), the worst swear word in the Universe is…
    “BELGIUM!”.

  5. i miss the home button. i’m lost in the weeds of the articles and can’t figure out how to get back to a bird’s eye view of the site from a weekly perspective

  6. I like the new layout/colors exactly as they are — with the small exception of the tan comments boxes as noted by Jim.

    • I plan to leave the sharing links, sorry. Time to start growing the site a bit and social does work, no matter how I detest it…

  7. I think the new color scheme looks good. The only thing I would change is that “khaki/yellowish” color that’s still being used for the comments section and the section which contains the ads, “Latest Posts” and “Reader’s Writes”. That’s looks like it’s leftover from the old colol scheme and doesn’t fit the new one, in my opinion. As for a suggestion for what to replace it with? Maybe a grey or something along those lines.

  8. How about writing an article, with pictures, of the antenna and submitting it for publication by the ARRL. For most of us, it is just the stuff of dreams.

    KG5OBD

    • Thanks – a great idea and I will. Part of the Major’s “labor involvement” was doing an article for the Mic and Key club’s Relay magazine – should be in the Dec. issue. Then all you need to do is move to Seattle and….OH yeah ARRL – will do!

      tks vy 73 de ac7x AR

  9. The dark blue, to me, says this page has important information to share. Light blue, on the other hand, says fluffy, of no concern.

  10. Hi George – When your grandkids come visit they will have a ball if they shoot, drive, and burn. That’s what our city cousins always wanted to do when they came to visit us on the ranch. Maybe get them bb guns – even a .22 might be kind of heavy for long afternoons of plinking. And every kid should learn to drive in an old farm truck. And tending a bonfire is a whole family activity!!

  11. Now you’re making me jealous of all that land-space for an 80-meter ‘long gun’! My plan was to orient the 80-meter inverted Vee for NW coverage of just the island chain here… didn’t think it worth the effort try to reach the mainland across 3k miles. Now I have to quote my GPS: “Recalculating”

    • Let me seeL Hilo to Dallas is 3676 statute. Add 29 for our easterly of Dullass TX and maybe what, 20 for your westerly up hill from Hilo…Yeah, I’d orient ENDS N.W. TO SE to get some stateside. Hey…we could actually have an EMCOM meet up…

  12. Like your new look and love the links at the bottom. There have been many times I have wanted to pass on your ‘wisdom’… thanks for making that easier. Great way to share with my adult kids!

  13. There’s just something that resonates with a good insult! Some of my favorites:
    * You’ll never be the man your mother is.
    *You are so ugly, your mamma used to feed you with a slingshot.
    * On Halloween when you open the door, the kids hand you their candy.
    * Two wrongs don’t make a right. Take your parents, for example.
    * Your gene pool should have had a lifeguard.
    * Whenever a thought crosses your mind, it takes an epic journey.
    * I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

  14. RE: Part D
    Check out the Walmart program. They are a prefered vender in TX as of this year. Also, compare your list for med’s with the fed’s schedule and try to calculate when, or if, you will hit the “donut hole”.

  15. RE: Part D
    Check out the Walmart program. They are a prefered vender in TX as of this year. Also, compare your list for med’s with the fed’s schedule and try to calculate when, or if, you will hit the “donut hole”

  16. George, I have an insurance broker who does all the slogging for me. He and his wife specialize in Medicare plans. If you’d like a referral I’d be happy to help you. It costs nothing.

  17. My grandmother told me many many years ago, “boy you couldn’t stop a greased pig if you had to.” in turn my dad, (her son) would say “boy if you were a woman you would have been pleasure built. Needless to say George, I have bowlegs.

  18. George

    OK, so make the GU logo starburst,(like the old fender stratocaster). the Silver dollar more silver. And what is that full moon popping out between the pyramids ?? The all seeing eye of GU !! Just a few more outlines on the header would make it POP !!

  19. You have a new page design? – JK. To me the dark blue is more business-like so it appeals to me.

    I’m about to find out how many goats a morning’s stay in the ER with blood work, CAT scan and X-rays are worth. Haven’t had insurance in four or more years and probably won’t for another 5 since I’m three months out from crossing the big 6-O. The son just spent four days in hospital three weeks after loosing his job so we sent a bunch of goats in to help cover that, too, yesterday. The girls and the kids all have insurance so it’s funny how it hits just the ones that don’t. Probably won’t get the full bill till Christmas, though, the way the hospital billing system usually works. Ho, ho, ho. Whenever it does come in we can weigh how much the cash price of health care is vs. a monthly payout for next-to-nothing coverage so here’s hoping Trump does get his landslide and the country can see exactly how corrupt it all is when the Electoral College sends Billary to the White House.

    Lock and load!

    • Ask for no insurance price and discounts. They will work with you and have payment plans.

  20. I don’t do mediscare parts B, C or D. Part A is free and gets you free of obamascare obligations or excuses. Part B covers doctor visits for anything except eyes and teeth, and those are the only two that I need. Part C builds on part B and seems to add nothing. Part D covers prescriptions and no MD will write a script for anything I want, so that’s pointless too. Most people forget that we are not exempt from death, and going to a hospital to die is simply a very expensive and largely useless ceremony.

    The art and science of insurance is to provide plenty of coverage for things you’ll never use and no coverage for anything you actually need.

    BTW, please keep the dark blue, including the sides. The only thing that is jarring is the bright red bar at the bottom, and the moronic links to farcebook, et al. Those things are blocked by default at my firewall on most of my network.

    When your grandkids visit, perhaps you could have them teach, or maybe write a column on using “social” media effectively without giving out any personal information, including your real name. It seems the latest craze that I fail to understand in depth is instagram.

  21. Hi George,
    I would suggest this if you want to do more with your redesign- make the header background colors extend to 100% (expand to any browser width- do this to the footer too) and make your content area all white. This will give the effect of wide open spaces and is very modern. Also, since there is no “sides” to the content there isn’t an enclosure of dark blue.

  22. I really like the color blue so that the colors of your new layout are just fine . . .

  23. The white middle column with the dark side bars is awfully hard on my eyes. Not sure if a light blue would be better, but I don’t think it would be worse.

    Don’t much care what you do with the social media. It’s all going to be gone or transmogrified in the next five years anyway.