IN so many words, my most normal daughter was telling be she and her spouse would be heading to Las Vegas to take part in a Zombie Apocalypse Tactical Op Training Session.
Oh, one of those… I tried to sound hip but it wasn’t going very well at all.
With good reason, too.
One is with the exception of a few old politicians I have never seen any zombies…ever.
Two is if I did see one it would be meeting a real plastic hollow point from one of my two 9 MM pistols.
Three is unless you have silver-laced paint, I don’t think the paintball contents would be too effective. But I’m the kind of guy who is still looking for a Manufacturers Safety Data Sheet (MSDS) on Holy Water.
Near as I can figure it, the stuff ought to at least have a warning for demons and such as it is reputed to be a solvent on them. Where are the Feds when you need them, huh? Probably trying to write that final draft of the MSDS on air, or something.
While I was taking this all in (dead sober) I got to wondering about the state of today’s youth.
Why, when I was young (shortly after radio was invented) we were busy boffing and making grand children at the daughter’s age, not working on Zombie issues.
Thanks to the Obama administration, however, we seem to have skipped past the need for grandchildren: Just open the fences and here come more grandchildren than you can shake a stick at. Oh, and don’t worry about them not carrying the great Ure name into the future; I’m confident some ID thief will figure out how to scam the family name and go on into the history books….
Still reeling, I decided to look this pastime up online and turns out there are actually TWO zombie operations in Las Vegas (not counting the 4 AM players of slots).
The other is http://zombieapocalypsestore.com/
I think they’re doing the first one, but I’m still recovering from the news of this.
I was sitting here figuring out the money angle to it. You know, maybe on a really bad morning I could be a zombie player as a part time retirement gig in Vegas, right? Or, when comes time to stroke out and die, what a grand tale to be able to recount at the Pearly Gates.
“So there I was Pete, being an apocalypse Zombie for big money. I was hiding on a 56,000 square foot set and a group of 20 visiting Chinese tourists came in with paintball guns thinking they would play at shooting me to death. In a nod to improving US Relations, I decided that would be a good time to drop into cardiac arrest…you know, really give them their money’s worth and see if anyone would try to resusitate the zombie…that kind of thing. Next thing you know I’m up here in the puffies and this dude is selling me harp lessons, though I was more interested in learning the Strat…know what I’m sayin’?”
I figure the kids will be in this $300 for airfare total. Then another bill and a half for a hotel room. Another bill for food. And then there is the cost of the cabs and such..tips…you know. You can’t kill zombies on an empty belly, right? No telling what the cost of the 2 hour deal itself is.
No sooner had I picked up on this than something called the 7 Hour Bourn Adventure caught my eye. No telling how much this one is – and I didn’t have the nerve to ding=-ding the toll-free to find out.
Instead, I will have to sit in the rocker here at the ranch. Plinking at the odd wild pig, copperhead, and coral snake that wanders through. Choice of side or long arms, loads, and so forth.
No traveling to Las Vegas, no hotel. Food is whatever Elaine or I cook up, but it’s less than Las Vegas. Lots less.
Maybe when you get to be our age and you’ve really done most of everything in life (I left the skydiving to my son…I prefer to shoot landings myself) the idea of looking for adrenaline changes a lot as you age.
Not that I wasn’t young once.
At age 30, sure being airborne on a dirt bike, riding a tunnel boat at 85 MPH, or learning aerobatics…yes, that used to be adrenaline.
Now though it comes from different sources. A letter for IRS. A letter from a state tax office. Letter from a law firm…some gypo oil outfit wants to explore and set off bombs…and that’s just the Mailbox Adventure. No extra charge for it. Also no opting out.
Aging used to look easy but now that we’re here or at least sneaking up on it, we’d be pleased to trade straight-across for 20 zombies and a long time-out In Vegas.
Here…you deal with this registered letter that just came…
Prepping – For What?
A couple of people posted comments wondering about how they could prep if we may have only a year before the economy implodes and down we go.
Were it only so simple.
On the Peoplenomics side of the house we have done all kinds of articles including things like living on a boat, roughing in the woods. And lots more including setting up the office, the shop, the gardening, the well drilling – and whnat have you.
But before you get all twisted into the prepping mode, a perspective check is in order first.
There are seven major items you need to survive and not one person in a thousand has worked all the details.
Now, if you want to be ready for all that may come our way, you need a second thing besides this list. You need a personal threat board. It doesn’t help to prep for a jihadist attack on the local nuke plant if the real problem is a massive disease outbreak.
You see in the first case, you might need to get the hell out of town very quickly – cross or up wind depending on how things go.
In the second case, however, you will not care about the wind so much as whether people are or can travel at all. Isolation is a good thing for some contingencies.
The p[ersonal threat board is really what drives UrbanSurvival. We’ve had 17 years of prepping and most of it living apart. It gives us a different sort of view on things.
Tomorrow on the Peoplenomics side, for example, we will look at how a real global bail-in (by the greedy banksters) could roll out particularly here in the USA. About then is when we expect you won’t want to work in the banking industry because when people start to break into the American piggybank without explicit consent (and Dodd-Frank ain’t consent) you might want to consider that anyone assocated with banking will be at some level of risk.
Just like people who supported highwaymen in days of old were at risk when discovered. You think the BLM stuff is anything? Wait until the bankers start taking from people’s life savings.
No, it likely would not be like the French Revolution…more likely straight to the paybacks.
You see the problem, though: When that happens and people can’t pay for their homes – and suddenly they have a repo note through no wrongdoing of their own…well THAT is the stuff of violent unexpected change.
So once you get your personal threat board, and then comes the rest of it: The major systems of life. And there are glaring holes in how people think about it.
For example, in housing, people with an RV get smug about “We will just head out…”
Nope – delusional talk there. Where do you park? Who will take your plastic? Where is the water? Power? Cell phone coverage…how do you pay the cell bill from the RV when your house has been repossessed and then you torch it as payback. See? Complicated stuff.
Not the kind of thing to take lightly or quickly. Years of thinking and even then we’re bound to get a lot wrong.
And that’s the hell of it. Yeah…Gaye’s site is great when comes to the emergency food storage and cooking, emergency first aid and so on.
But there’s a lot to be seen on Rural Pioneer, too, since Oilman2 shows you how to bootstrap a homestead from raw land up through beginnings of production there.
All later action steps, however.
The most important part is figuring if a ground war in Europe were to happen over Crimea, what would that do to America? EMP? Then what?
Economic collapse…sure, but how much gold for a piece of toilet paper?
See how this rolls?
Yeah – start with three weeks of water per person and three weeks of food. Better than nothing. But did you add three weeks of toilet paper? Three weeks of meds? And if the power is off, and you can’t get those scrips refilled, what exactly is you detox plan so you become part of the solution, not part of the problem?
That is the grown up prepper mindset.
When UrbanSurvival drove down stakes around the concept in 1997 there wasn’t a single search engine result. Today, the world is full of me-too bullshit artists who scrape screens and rip of real preppers like Gaye, Oilman2, and me.
Pardon me if I seem a little callous about this stuff, but there are people giving advice on the net who wouldn’t last 10 minutes in our neighborhood.
But sure, if you have specific questions, we can take a run at answering some of them.
If you can’t tell me the top 10 prepping risks you have right now, then you have thinking to do before you start getting worked up.
Having Said That
This week up in Seattle, my friends on Tsue Chong Company are mixing up another 6,000 pounds, or so, of my 75% egg Chinese noodles and will be shipping us 50 pounds worth
Egg noodles do have a shelf life – it’s not like freeze dried foods. But damn good and they are good for a year in cool dry storage.
Look up Rose Brand Products (which Tsue Chong makes) on South Weller St. in Seattle or drop an email to email@example.com if you care to order.
We use them in place of spaghetti noodles and such and they are way better than the noodles sold in the Asian food aisles of most stores. Those, notes Brian, are made more like an alimentary paste…not as much egg content.
There.. .got myself worked up to hungry now, so let’s toss the market stew on quickly and more on to the gourmet breakfast part of the morning, shall we?
Write when you get rich,